One little step in..

Sorethroat

2012-01-05T04:58:00.000-08:00

Sore throat babey~ E...e...h..... It causes me feeling very unwell but I like the voice being SeXay~

AHemp ahEmp..

Sore throat please please don't mess around with my throat.. You're making me feels so uncomfortable and You caused me having fever! SHooo!!

*Singing* I could be brown I could be blue

I could be violet sky

I could be hurtful I could be Purple

I could be anything You like~~~~~

No way.. I can't sing~

Hate it..

Ciao

A New Start Up Button

2012-01-04T07:38:00.000-08:00

Yo!!!!!!! Hey YoOoOoO!!!!

It's new damn year again. Before I celebrated my New Year 2012, I've spent my valuable time with AWESOME people around Me!!! So it makes last two weeks of December the Greatest Weeks, Days and Hour of the Year.

Check out some photos taken on Friday 30.12.2011 at QE II.

The " Mad Sally". They are a Very AWESOME Bands!

Please Click like on " http://www.facebook.com/madsallyband?ref=ts" to support them.

No lies.. They are just so GREAT!

The Gang that went to QEII with me. SEE!! Luvely! :)

1.1.2012 Sunday

They are my Good GOOd Friends. Without Fail, they celebrated Christmas day and New Year With Me!! Gosh! I just heart them so much!!!

I'm here to thank to those that accompanied me celebrating Xmas Eve, Xmas, New Year Eve and New Year. Without you guyz, I certainly will "DRY" Died. lol. If u know what I meant.

A new year is just a figure and if you only could really start up a new life on a new year without just keep repeating the same thing/routine like the previous. It's time to take risk and do what you wish to do.

For this Brand New Year of 2012, my first resolution is to move out and therefore, I'll be moving out soon and be independent. It's time for me stand up alone on my both feet on the ground to feel It!

People may say " You are just wasting your money".

But Have you ever wish to do something and people around you who keeps stopping you? or you're easily to get influence?

Well, I could say, just do it before u regret of not doing it because we will somehow get old and older. Thus, we might forget our dreams and wishes. Step out from just a dream and become a doer as uve already become a dreamer.

My next resolution is to appreciate and start giving to people around.

I've learnt lessons on my past year. I ain't letting it to happen again. Mistakes for once or twice are more than enough. No stupidity will be allowed again.

A start up button for yourself to keep going, doing, dreaming and Pushing you to the line beyond the limit.

Limitless..

Cheers People.

I need to get up on this sticky chair and go to bed.

Muaks! Happy New Year and Good night.

The Day Filled with Prefix of -Un-

2011-12-19T04:47:00.000-08:00

19.12.2011 (Monday)

November! November! November!

It started with a great and dopest November.

November was the merriest month for me in this whole damn year of 2011.

December
However, things started to fall apart which I don't even thought bout it could ended that fast! Once again, I'm heart broken. This is so insane that I could not even say more. It's UN-acceptable and of course it's Un-Bearable.

Today would be a memorable day for me to remember and reminds myself of stop putting HOPE! Well, I could say, I should just stop being stupid again and again.

People makes mistake for once but I've made for so many f**ing damn Times!!

Words Were sweet... Heart Melted... Hopes Were Precious... Hands held tightly.. Precious time Spent Together.. The feeling was Un-controllable... Hopes were Un-breakable ...

Now, all these are just equivalent to =

You just left me alone..

For the very first time, I am too sad to even say anything or express my feeling..

I understand that heart broken is not the only thing in the world but at this moment and at this hour, it's just everything that ruined your day, your Love, Your Thinking and emotion...

2011 is going to an end.. But lessons shall be learned throughout this year, like so damn seriously.

My Voice in Me to You.....

No matter how, you are forgiven and I am not regret of getting back with you.. It's just we are not meant to be.. Your decision is respected and I will Move on.. May you have a better life and always take care of yourself. All the best, baby. Goodbye, love.

One Step Away From Closer

2011-12-09T11:21:00.000-08:00

It's 3.22am and I'm still awake...

I'm thinking...

Thinking....

And still Im thinking....

What's the solution?

What's the problem?

Can I manage it???

My midnight is being accompany by a lovely sad song called "A thousand years"...

My problem and I'm the one who caused it.. I'm very problematic.. I'm psycho as well... Watching myself standing here/ sitting here feeling lost...

I just have one simple request and yet it's not easy..

" I wanna be simple and happy".

Not everyone could do that...

It's one step away from getting closer.. Whatever it is, I'm not giving up..

Waiting...

I'ma take action instead of waiting right here...

I'll be strong even inside of me is crying.. Tears wiped... life still have to goes on..

Good night.

A Better and Yet Sick Day

2011-11-29T04:44:00.000-08:00

29.11.2011 (Tuesday)

Wow! Time really flies. It has been more than a month since I blogged.

I was really lazy to upload pictures and I've no inspiration to write at all.

What matters is, I know what to blog right now although I do not feel well at the moment.

I woke up at 4 in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Body started aching and I felt something was wrong. By 7am, I get myself prepared to work and I felt so unwell this morning as I couldn't concentrate while I was driving off to work.

After lunch, I decided to go home and see doctor but I'm glad that someone was there for me. He cares for me and I felt it. I'm touched for what you've done for me. Thank you for taking care of me when I was so sick just now and was alone at home as well. You were there.. Thank you for taking me to consult doctor...Although injection was pain in my arse but I have you.. You make it turned sweet. Whatever it is, I am grateful to have you...

Because of you, my world is not uncolorful anymore. You've made my November a greater month of the year. Thank you, Boyfie!

My Hair Drives Me MAD

2011-10-03T06:29:00.000-07:00

On a fine evening, something excited came across my mind and I went to do some photo searching on the hairstyle that I wanted to.... PERM!!! oh yeah, baby!!! I was freaking excited about it and I called up my friend to talk bout it. As we discussed, I decided to go to autocity for a try on a new hairstyle with a new hairstylist. Woot woot! haha.. I went around to my friends and I told them how excited I was to change my hairstyle..

Unfortunately, there comes a strike on my mind that tells me, " Go fion. Go! You don't have to go until so far to perm your hair. Just go opposite your house there and perm as it is nearer and cheap." As I got this information from my friend as well which she told me that my current hairstylist knows how to perm that type of hairstyle I wanted. I went for a try.

Aha!! Good Try!!!!

=( I regretted.

The story begins :

On last Friday, I went straight away to the hair saloon after my work at 6pm. Then the process of perming my hair began. As she said, I've to cut my hair 1/2 inch in order for her to perm my hair. So I agreed. Not so soon and it was late till 9pm ++, it ended with a " slap on my forehead." She failed to curl my hair and she cut my hair more than 1/2 inch!!! My hair was like the witch's broom!! OMFG!!! I was so damn f**in pissed off! But I did not throw tantrum at the hair stylist. I smiled to her and I say if tomorrow it's not curl, Ima come back tomorrow. She said alright, come back to me and I'll re-perm your hair.

Next Day...

She re-permed my hair and had put alot of treatments for me.. Again, she said, " You have to cut 1 inch of hair in order for me to perm your hair." I lost my patience and I answered, " Are You kidding me? I cut my hair yesterday and now you wanna cut my hair again? I wanted to keep my hair long. Sighed." At last, I said ok, fine. Go ahead. Make sure that the curl is what I want.

Here are some photos. This hairstyle is not even close to what I WANT!!!! WTF!

Before putting on more Make Up and some touch up on my Hair. This is how my wtf'ness hair looks like. I only applied eyeliner and eyebrow touch up.

After putting on some make up and some Hair Do. This is it.

So...... Did my hair looks any different?

Oopsie! It's late and Ima go to bed now. Tata..

That's How We Do It

2011-10-03T01:16:00.001-07:00

First and foremost, I went to a "Business Opportunity Presentation" on last Wednesday ( 28.9.2011 ). It's nice talk though although I was tired after my company's team Building.

Nowadays, those traditional thinking people will always look for "Job Security". What is job security? It defines back to 80's or 90's where people had a stable work~, everything goes smoothly~, get paid on time~, not much challenges and etc. However, the true meaning of Job Security is

"Job Security" = Overwork + Underpaid,

for the current job security. Thus, people nowadays have to apply two fundamental things such as 7/11 and Esso Petrol Station . Why so?? We have on call and stand by like 7/11 and also have to work from Monday to Sunday like Esso Petrol Station.

Instead of searching a job security, why not get yourself a financial security?

A financial security will bring us benefits as in start planning for our risk financial management. Have you do that??

No? Then you better start your arse working on it. If not, Your job security is equivalent to 0.

Yes? Brilliant! You are a step up to another level than to be in the poor segment. =)

We are all paid to work for people. One said " Most successful entrepreneur work free for themselves and People who work for money under people makes no money". Entrepreneur with courage that dares to take the very first step will no longer remain in the section of "poor".

It's time to stop giving yourself and excuses to do something that will help your life to becomes better.

Those people who kept complaining as below should really do something about it BECAUSE AFTER 2 YEARS, 3 YEARS, OR EVEN 5 YEARS, THEY WILL STILL SIT DOWN AND COMPLAIN THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

- My boss No GOOD lar

- My Company didn't Increase My salary

- My boss ask me to do this and that

- My boss underpaid me but paid my colleague higher salary!

Step out of your comfort zone and Take Action!

Life is too precious to being silly and stuck in our own excuses and blame all the time.....

It's time to make a difference. Your fate lies in your own hands....(think about it)

Keep Going, Keep Motivated

2011-09-23T17:52:00.000-07:00

Urgh!! SEE!! I am so down and sleepy in the office.

8.53 am : I am working right now while some of the people are sleeping at home.. I'm Sleepy! and I want a job that doesn't requires me to work on Saturday!!! Urgh!!

Positive thinking: Utilize the time by doing something beneficial and good rather than to sleep at home. Hmm.. (fake + lie) but its true, isn't it?

Oh ya! I'll be sitting my exam insurance exam.. I forgotten what's the term called but I know it pronounce as "silly". The urge pushed me to take up this exam and challenge myself by "APPROACHING" customers!! which I'm super suck at it.. Urgh! Besides that, I do realize working only a job can't manage to bring me go further. Further as in better life. Hehe...

I need to buy a house and I need to get my master now!!! hmmm.. die.. Everything is about $$$.

Furthermore, those books that I wanted to buy, are so "Tut Tut" exPenSive!! What the heck is it??!! ^#@$%^&* !! As brief, You wanna gain Knowledge, U gotta have money to pay.

Omg!! I've gained weight! What? bla bla bla.. This is the most common line you ever heard from girls. I know.. I'm damn serious. No joking. My arms look fat.. It might because of I took the wrong steps of toning up by using dumbbell.. Hmm..

woops! alright. I gotta go. Ive to send mail now. Chaoz!

If I were to choose

2011-09-04T07:48:00.001-07:00

4.9.2011 (sunday)

If I were to choose, I never want my birthday. Today is my birthday and everything just messed up. I appreciate and thanx to those who celebrated with me.. It's just you that I dont expected things will go this way.

I cried on my birthday.. I wanted a cake so badly on my birthday today and ended up, I don't see any today. I should have order the cake last week and I should see it coming. I still don't know why am I still stopping myself from doing it till then I see myself crying.

All I want is a simple and smooth birthday. I don't ask for things and so on..I don't see it why must it be so difficult to have one. I wanna have a family dinner which include me, mum and my sis.. Mummy wanna have an off day to have dinner with me. Unfortunately the one I hated the most, uncle (mum's bf) wanna tag along too. I just want a family dinner that doesnt includes him. Too bad, mummy cant do that for me. It's sad to say that but he doesn't consider to be the one to replace my daddy as no one will or can.

If I were to write more, my tears gonna shed down again. I guess I need to stop now and go to bed.. night peeps.

P.s:// Fifi, Happy birthday to yourself and smile.

Nothing

2011-09-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

woopsie.. I broke my promise! haiz. I'm so sorry about that as I had no time to update.. and now, I'm going to sleep. night peeps..

Extremely Laaa-Zyyy

2011-08-18T08:56:00.001-07:00

I'm very tired right now and my brain disfunctioning by making me sleepier.. I just came back from the dance class and some chitty chat chat with my best buddy.. heart her so much..

I guess or I will continue to write tomorrow.

(ta kou kou )

Promised !

The Rules

2011-08-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

I slept for the whole day and my brain was quite inactive and I could say Numb. Therefore, something has just popped up on my mind which is " The Rules". In every day, rules evolved in every single aspect even in a game or relationship as well.

I realize rules actually makes a difference if it really a reasonable and a proper one. As such for finding love.

Most of the people I could say, can hardly be themselves when they are in front of the person whom they attracted. Sadly to say that when the real colors shown, perhaps, the person is who they attracted is not really the one that they're been searching for. Besides, being with someone that can make you laugh is not consider as easy or hard but being with someone that can truly feel happy from the bottom of the heart is hard.

It's like a total love recycle and I guess people moves on and forget how hurtful was the past relationship and how they swore never gonna fall in love again. I guess that's all just a phrase just to feel better. However, the new love is irresistible and same thing with better rules shall happen again. No repeating the same mistakes... contentment is a high aim. Go for it. May everyone has the great blessings!

Good night. I wanna meet up with my prince charming in my dreamland. =)

The Last Working Day

2011-08-15T07:46:00.000-07:00

15.8.2011 ( monday )

Should I..... Woooooohooooooo?? Hahahaha.. I should i should.. so let's just Wooooohoooooooo!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing much happened today.. except some conversation as below

Lady boss: Today is your last working day , is it? "

Me: Yes, it is.

Lady Boss: Oh, alright. But I havent prepare you the cheque and might need another director to sign the cheque.

Me: Owh~. Alright then.

Lady Boss: Let me know if you can work on 30th and 31st of August if you want me to pay you a full payment.

Me: I shall let you know then.

The story began with we as the staff in the company, we would need to work on the alternate Saturday but due to no events in the previous month, therefore my salary was cut 2 days. The alternate Saturdays are half day but was considered as a full day.. Hmm..

Nvm. It's alright. Thank you for the lady boss and my Singapore boss for giving me the opportunity to learn and gain experience although the lady boss is totally unprofessional by bringing her mum and her daughter to work whereby her daughter kept disturbing me and her ignoring it. Thus, her mum would be shouting around asking the grandaughter to behave. It was just "great" and making us cant concentrate on our work.

Between, I've taken some pictures before I went to Voodoo last Friday. Ended up I went to Mois awhile.

With Flash mode on = clearer image

Without Flash mode = " image blur"

With Flash mode on = clearer image

Oh yes!~ Will be going to dye my hair tomorrow!!!!!!! aha! looking forward to it but I'm a bit worried as well. I dyed my hair black before...so... * no eyes see * I need to read my book now before I go to bed. Good night, love.

It'll Be Better

2011-08-11T20:03:00.000-07:00

12.8.2011

Since that day, everything has changed. Needless to say, "yes, i am fear of the unknown and fear of how I could fully spend my time". So, I would plan my everyday's activities for myself to be occupied by something. I'm a very sensible person.. hmm.. I couldn't say this period of time isn't good at all.....instead, I find it a good and meaningful learning lesson for me. I'm here to learn everything or anything that i could learn.. I'm here to expect less and give more. Being alone most of the time, I guess it's the necessary process to go through.

So, here I am, spending most of my time alone with my furkid.

I talked to her...
I played with her...

I laughed at her...

I bullied her (in a nice way)..

She is everything to me as she has never failed coming to me when I'm having difficulty moments nor neither happy moments.

Besides that, I have my mum that has always been there for me no matter what. For example, this morning, for the very first time, she sticked a note on the toilet's door.

It said " Ah Yoong, dalam periuk ada bubur. Sila ingat makan bubur awak dan tolong pergi tengok doktor kalau ada masa ataupun masih tak sihat. Jika tidak, ingat beli 100 plus". ( she doesnt know how to write and read English and I do not know how to read and write Mandarin ). That's the only way, we communicate. I heart you mummy.

Since 3 am in the morning, my tummy was feeling so unwell. After a few minutes, I rushed to the toilet to make some big business -diarrhea.. =( I couldn't sleep after that.. I was feeling so unwell...

1 hour later, I went to toilet again... haiz.. Damn sickening night.

At 7.10am, I dont feel like going to work.. I felt so terribly sick.. I dragged myself to prepare to work as I know today is my second last day at work. My boss is going to suspect me again for faking sick as she is a total suspicious person. She does not encourage us to take leave and better not to take your mc on monday or friday. Here I am in the office blogging! Ive got nothing to do and Im feeling very unwell.

Let's talk bout yesterday!!!!!!!!!

11.8.2011 ( Thursday )

I went to join Broadway Jazz and it costed me RM 128.

* Faint. I'm broke now after spending this amount.. arhhhhhhhhh.......

However, I'm a bit disappointed with the dance instructor which was not what I expected. Not that pro or good enough like my last time's dance instructor -Sean. I like learning dance from Sean. I guess no one can ever replace him. He's good at dance and he has a sense of humor too.. He never failed encourage the students.

Then, I joined a trial class of - Latin. Omg! I faint kao kao....

It's totally a new thing for me. I'm not that graceful and gentle to dance this type of dance but it's fun!!! Far way more fun than the broadway jazz. I guess its because of the dance instructor. But I'll be solo in the latin class.. =( I wonder who can learn with me to be my partner?? sigh.

Back to today.

All right. I'm starving right now although I dont have appetite to eat.. I'll grab something for my lunch.. no rice for my lunch pls. Anyway, tonight have to go to club as I've promised my members that i'll be going and besides, I flew them aeroplanes for many many many times d. So, I guess tonight's venue would be -VOODOO!!! Peace out. ;)

NO title

2011-08-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

7.8.2011 ( sunday )

I can't think of the title for this blog. I can't think rationally now. I can't focus now. I can't this and that. I'm INSANE! yes i am.. fion lee.. you're helpless and hopeless d.

Today will be the day..

It's all worthless...

hmm.. going for a drink later. I already dont know how to express my own feeling besides of exercising. Just felt not enough. alright. I need to bathe now ..

Cherish my friends

2011-08-03T18:55:00.000-07:00

4.8.2011 ( Thursday)

This is how it looks like right now.

This was how it looked like last night.

Much better isn't it?

I would like to take up this opportunity to thank all my friends who were there for me and their care meant a lot to me. I guess saying out the names would be more appreciative and sincere.

I would like to thank Bryan who helped me to apply medicine, Cryin who helped me to clean up my wound, Toiletman for helping me to buy medicine, Xisco for offering help to buy me the medicine, Tony for calling up and wanna bring me to see doctor, Edward calling up for a laugh but sincerely asked if im alright, Wen Hoong, Hoon, Biggie,Jia Hern, Eddy,Wren Wei and etc ( i couldnt remember the names) who texted me on Fb chat or Whatsapp for the concern.

Thank you very much for the concern.

I felt the fall is worth it as I could see people who really cared for me. I don't mind to fall for another time. aha.. * touch wood* I don't want to fall because it is so painful!!! Well, to some of the people out there, I may seems like...err.. " this girl memang wanna show off, bla bla bla"... But Hey! This is my blog. Remember that.

Awh~~ I'm starving right now and I can't think of anything to write at this moment. Perhaps I shall update my blog soon. Will see what I can write for the next blog. *wondering*. Chao

My Morning Started with a Fall

2011-08-02T19:34:00.001-07:00

2.8.2011 ( Wednesday)

See it?? Argh! That is so pain!!! I wore my new wedges - Larrie today. The story begins when I walked over to take my car and just at the right moment, I fell down in the middle of the road. The first thing I did was, I looked around to check out if anyone saw it. Fuu~ Luckily no one. Then I rushed in to my car and I started to ??? -->"wuuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu"......... The pain in my ass was killing.

I called up my colleague to ask if she has a pair of slippers/flip flops in her car. However, she told me she was already wearing it. I was pretty sure that Ima fall down again on the way walking to my office.

Guess what. I was never so right before. I fell down again!!! Within 30 minutes, I fell down 2 times! That was how it caused my right knee's wound more redish and it's bleeding ! And now, my right knee has successfully built a 2 floors of flat on it with some colors of Green and Purple. The most important thing was.........Argh! People saw me fell down! argh! So embarrassing! wtf? ahhhhhh.. At that moment, I wish I could dig a hole and stuck my head in it.

What was I thinking when i was walking huh??? How could I fell down? Damn. Today Im such a damn potato. I do not know how to further describe the moment of "EMBARRASSMENT" . So suck. grrr!

Thank you to my morning for giving me such a wonderful kick ass revolutionary day!

What a Tuesday

2011-08-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm very very sad right now!!!!!!!!!

ahhhhhh... I do not know how to describe my feeling but I seriously fucking need to stop all these! I started to hate myself!

A Psycho Confession

2011-07-31T01:48:00.000-07:00

31.7.2011 ( Sunday )

Oh mY god!!! I'm emo again. Shiet me please. argh!!!!!! I need to stop all these!

Well, but at least please allow me to begin my psycho confession.

First of all, I'm getting tired of the so called after broke up but felt like just haven't broke up and yet not together. Don't know when will this continue to drag on. Feeling so devastated when I knew that some human are just not easy to change at all which included me at all. I made a wrong mistake again by thinking that everything will change but it's still the same. As in a very serious emo state that I've been going through lately, I need a break. It's just saddening. Every night when I slept I could encountered a sudden wake up and my heart was like kept beating very fast. I do not know what was that about. I guess it's time to face my fear and challenge it.

When the truth that can't be changed is because when a girl felt its not convincing at all to make her change or to make her put in effort. That's the reason why a step has been taken back by one step and another. Long gone will caused a far away gap in between the couple.

Everything that I want and hope for is it too much and it will never comes true actually?? Every unanswered question, regret and malicious thought droves me crazy.

I told my friend that I want everything to be alright by next year. He then told me " Year is only about figures and you dont wait till next January but start it from tomorrow". Thanx for his wise words that gave me a quick wake up call from my mind.

All right. I feel much better now. I needed to talk to my furkid -Stephy as she is not feeling well. Chao~

Super Depression Day

2011-07-26T07:04:00.001-07:00

Just a quick blog for today.. Those are the pictures I took after my exercise. Needless to say, today is definitely a depression day for me as I felt so unappreciated by my boss. I felt that all the things that I've done was nothing and the person who did nothing but act hardworking is the one they thought is the superior one. Therefore, they the superior one as they thought, has got an increment from my boss.. What a day... I was totally devastated. Nothing more I could say except of calming down and console to myself but luckily at the most down moment, there was someone who consoled me. Thank you very much." Your wise words, I shall bare in mind".

All right. I Need to make a move right now. I needed to sleep as my I'm super tired. Good night.

Brand New Start

2011-07-25T06:05:00.001-07:00

25.7.2011 ( Monday)

It's Monday and it's a brand new start for me as everything has changed since yesterday. Ima be stronger! bolder! healthier! & LASTLY I wanna be Sexier! woooo!!! Seriously, I've put on some weight and it's Fugly!! I need to on a healthy diet and exercise once I get home. So, I've did some simple exercise just now for about 20 minutes. Wow! fuu~ Hands are shaking.. shiet! Wosh!!!! Rule Number 1. Never eat too full and exercise. It'll make us feel like throwing up. Rule number 2. Never forgets rule number 1. That's what I'm feeling right now.

Oh Gosh! Tomorrow is Tuesday and my company's managing director is coming down from Singapore. I do not know how to face him as I feel bad of leaving the company.. Sigh~

Ima take my bath now.. Hands are too shaky that I hardly can type here. GrrRrRr... I shall continue tomorrow or some other time. Ish!

A day of my own

2011-07-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

24.7.2011 (Sunday)

Early in the morning, I cooked instant noodle as my breakfast (tomyam flavour). A Sunday should have add some sweet and loving element on my day since today will be my own day. Therefore, a movie - Don't Go Breaking My Heart 单身男女 appeared on my mind. So, I decided to have my breakfast together with the movie. It's my favourite movie because I love the cast of Daniel Wu acted in that movie. Frankly, watching that movie is just to remind me that I would wait for the 11th guy ("fo sing yan") to appear. However, it's somehow impossible. Ahhh.. Alright. I'm not going to think about that. Apparently, I hardly can trust guys anymore since my last relationship as I felt too insecure and I feel it's not easy anymore for me to really give in my heart to someone. It's terrible right? I know. I just lost my confidence in love.

It's been awhile since I updated my blog. Did not know what to write on my blog also. Oh! Just to update. I'd tendered my resignation letter to my company and will be starting my new job next month. I'm anxious! I'm worried as well! At the meantime, I'm also waiting for my result and my degree certificate. I have some plans on my mind which I wanted to own a house by 26 yrs old, pursue my Master in Marketing and I wanna focus on my career to make a better living and life. Life without money where sometimes, my pocket doesn't even have RM1... It's really really hard. I've told myself that I do not want that life anymore. Therefore, I shall appreciate and utilize every mins and hours as time is gold. I guess that's it for today. I'll try to update as often as I could.

These are the photos I took Yesterday.

Scared

2011-07-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

The feeling is worst right now as I felt so damn scared and worried. Why? Then let me begin my story..

It was a fine Friday night, where I was watching tv in the living room with my furkid (Stephy). Outta sudden, I heard a loud sound of dog barking and crying (don't know what's the term for dog cry). Then I headed to my kitchen to have a peep on what's going on. I saw a bunch of Uncle uncle sekalian holding wood sticks or steel. I saw an aggressive uncle hit the dog which was hiding under a black saga until the dog barked to yelled for help.. I felt so sorry for the uncle for his behavior and I kept praying that the dog would be Ok. I almost cried out witnessing the scene. The next thing popped up in my mind was, I headed back to the living room & took out my mobile phone and recorded the situation. I couldn't see how the dog looks like and what has happened to it. =( Suddenly, there was a voice of a man shouted " woooii!!". Those fellas especially the aggresive one, shouted, " apa? Mau report kah? Pi report lar!!! kalau mau, datang tolong. Pi report!". Because of that, there was one uncle looked up to my hs unit.. He was staring at me.. I felt so scared and worried because I fear they might come up to my hs and find trouble.. as I was also alone at home.. No one to turn to during this situation... Feel so sad..Although I don't know what has the dog done to them but I felt this is a wrong way of treating a dog. There was like more than 10 ppl holding sticks. It's just unfair and brainless uncle who would did that to a helpless dog.

However, I'm trying to upload the video to the facebook. It's a short clip of the scene until the uncle saw me recording the video, I stopped. Hopefully, they won't come up to my house..

Say NO to Animal ABUSE!

Sunday Morning

2011-05-28T19:11:00.001-07:00

*The nice & slow music running through my head*

Hmm.....

I feel peacefulness in myself today...

Today is the day I should focus on my things without going backward and stop there.. It's just pointless to keep pinning over something which has already broken. In fact, I should stop listening to my negative thoughts, i'll only affirming their validity.

I'll get my ass in motion every day because it's time to get it in gear. I want my things to be done on time and I want to achieve my goals. =) Wake up every morning without goals makes me no desire to wake up at all. Therefore, living with goals are the only way to keep moving forward to make my dreams come true.

I've never want to be Emo Memo already.. Sometimes yea, but no more every time when i try to post up something here. No No and NO.

One of the greatest joys in life is getting to a place where I really actually be myself and life myself. Not the idea of who I think I am or who I want to become, but the imperfect, awesome, living soul writing this sentence right now. It is meant to inspire. ^^

Oh! I'd dyed my hair black...but now the color has faded to a lil bit of brown color. The photos were taken last week, fyi.

Something That I Did For Fun

The bear bear does not belongs to me... he is my pinkpig's neighbour and good friend. The pinkpig is made from paper and magazine pages...

Urgh.. I should make a move now.. Need to do my assignment right now. Btw, sunday Morning listening to Michael Buble and Olivia's song, made my day. =D

My Own Love Story

2011-05-01T01:06:00.000-07:00

I want my own love story.

I've never want it to turn badly.. All I want is a very simple and sweet relationship.

We need to be ourself before we enter the world of love. This is what people is looking for.

I may be childlike but I'm not childish. I just want to pamper with the people I love. - Attention Seeker - As a way, I want them to know my present in their world by putting a smile on their heart everyday.

Have you guyz ever watch the Hong Kong movie called " Don't go breaking my heart " ?

Awh~ It's a very very very nice movie, I could say.

hmm.. I want that movie so badly right now..

My own love story...Starts with level one - strangers, flirt, chase, suuweeet suweet, arguements and No break up please. Peaceful is what I need.

I need a man like the one in the HK movie ( Daniel Wu ).. owh~~ Can I have someone like him in my life please? Pretty pretty please.

Sigh. I know there'll be no one like him who would appear in my life ever.

I wish somehow someday, miracle could happen.

YOu must be thinking I'm naive and crazy. Yes, I am..

I want someone who could understands me really well and so do I....

Clearly, everything is just a movie that is very impossible to has a guy like Daniel Wu in that movie to appear in my life. I can say this type of guy has already EXTINCT!

Like the guy Daniel Wu starred had given me the sweetness that I could never be able to feel it in the reality. I've lost it long time ago.. I could say, I've forgotten the feeling of how a guy chase after me...how a guy really cares for me..How a guy would really loves me. how a guy would pamper....how a guy would understands me..

If I ever have someone like the guy (Daniel Wu starring), I would never hurt him or let him go..

But I do not need the exaggerate actions like the proposal and so..I just want a guy with a pure heart..

*Slap* Wake up Fion! Stop dreaming. Ish!

I would be my part as a good girlfriend.. I promise if I found one. =)

What we've seen in the movie will never happen in the real life. That's why they put it in the movie. I know it very very clearly. Just let me dream of it.. Awh~ sTill feel very sweet bout the movie.. =)

Stay right on track and keep hoping... <3

Worst Day in My Entire Life is Today

2011-04-27T10:57:00.000-07:00

This morning had started to be a lil off set to me already since i was in the classroom. However, afternoon was going just alright but during night time, it was like the whole world turns upside down. Obviously, I was emotionally unstable today. So, I couldn't controlled my emotion and I let it all out.

Things that happened to me:

Was all about MONEY....

People changed because of MONEY....

I know that I'm not the right girl for you and You know it very clearly deep down inside of you. Truthfully, I was never someone that you think you are happy or proud unlike how you described your ex. Your ex may irreplaceable and you've admitted that you treated me badly compared to her.. I was thinking, what am I to you, seriously. With you, I had always told myself that " what i offer to you isn't enough". I felt unvalueable... Well, never mind. I'm glad because I took a big courage to step outta of it.

Next thing is..

My ex's parent had restricted him to hang out with me which made me so so upset about it because it was about Money again... They think that I'd used up a lot of his son's money like when we went out to eat and i think also because of the present he gave me last year. How sad it is so lost a friend even though he's my ex yo.

Why all these happened to me in ONE night?? Just to test how strong I am and how far I can go??? U've tested my determination, patience and emotion, god.

I promise I will move on strongly and vision my future. I'll try my best/ I'll do it like a dude that I can take it and leave while in the process of learning to become a stronger and mature one.

Fifi!!! Please!! Do it! No more so called " stand up and falls again". Puhleassseee. No way!!!

A few of my photos taken last week.

TaAa Daaa~!!

Hope one day I can live happier with my own again/ the real me again....... -peace-

Tarot Card

2011-04-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever try tarot cards reading???

Well, I could say It was so damn true about me. Very precise and accurate. *LIkey*

I've actually used up my break time and went to have some tarot cards reading.

Where is it?

It's located at Prima Tanjung, Penang. I do not know the address. Sorry but I know how to go.

The time I'd used for the cards reading that cost me RM30 was very worth it.

I should never Look back/ recall of my past and instead, I should be tough and move on. Vision my future and work harder for it.

Frankly, I've neglected my studies a lot since the day I started my first semester.

Because of what???

It was because of relationship - love -.

Besides that, it had reminded me to spend less and reduce my outings.

Tarot cards had simply described/expressed those thoughts/ problems in my heart that I could never can rephrase it by myself.

Well said.

Then, it said, I should not have any commitment in relationship this year or before I graduate.

Hmmm...???

Alright. I shall turn into a new leaf from this second onwards.

Needless to say, I've prioritizing someone used to be so important to me before my studies. This is the time I should take up my studies and job seriously.

Well, it also reminded me to go for air-stewardess.. The problem is, I do not know how to swim, I'm afraid of height and lastly, I'm short!

Wth???!! *faint*

For the very first time, today, I felt so much relieved and relax as slowly, I've manage to overcome the so called "loneliness" in my heart. It was a fear to me but not anymore.

Stephy, mama Promise you that I will take good care of you always and love you more.

Good night.

I Hate it So Much!

2011-04-10T02:28:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling very disappointed and silly at the same time. ARghgghhhh!!!!!!!

Why is it always me?

Why do you guyz have to treat me this way?

why why why???!!!!!!

Why do you have to do something which will make me sad/down and in return to cover up your guilty/bad, you offer me something ?

Why don't you offer me something/treats me better before you do any wrong?

Am I too stupid or I'm easy going????

Why huh?

You left me here and you lied to me. Then in return you want offer me something by bringing me out. What am I to you??? A spare part? Unvaluable thing?

Please. .. I do not want to feel it this way anymore. Pls stop torturing me. I had enough already. At that moment when you leave me/lied to me, have you ever consider bout me??? No, You didn't.

It's alright. Fifi, smile. You should be glad and please be tough to go through all these. Tomorrow will be a better day. It is so not worth it for you to shed tear for that type of person because they might be having fun and you're here being silly and crying? No way!

Take it as a lesson... Never forget bout it because this is point for you to learn. Learn from the mistake and move on.

The Worst Best News

2011-04-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

Time really flies and I cannot denied that I actually like it. Let it past as fast as it could. Last few days, I really wanted to blog because I have inspiration what to blog about. Unfortunately, my shitty network connection droves me crazy. I've waited 2 hours just to blog that day and it turned me down. =(

Since last week, things started to fall apart like my relationship and things have not been going smoothly after my accident on 18.3.2011. It was so saddening. I believe everything happens for a reason. The toughest time allow us to see your so called " good friend", "good buddy", "good sisters" or any "good bf/gf" that will eventually offer to help you. Well, the person whom we never expect them to appear or help out will be the one who will stand out for you in the hardest and saddest situation. Therefore, I'm not upset about it but I'm really happy and glad to see the fine colors of the people around me. Thank you for those who had helped me out a lot. I promise I will be there for those who helped me out. Thank you very much. & to those that did not help me, I would say, I will be there for you too if you needs my help because I understand the how it feels like when we needed someone badly.

Next..

Alright! Words words words words = Boring boring boring and superbly BORING!

Here are some of my photos......Then I shall continue my story...

When life treat us badly, challenge it and make it nicer in the other way round. How many people could actually be optimistic and see the "ugly" truth as a "beautiful" truth and smile? I guess Not really many of us can do it. We would actually being emotional about it.

Sometimes, we would have one of those toughest decision to make, hardest process to go through and not getting the thing you ever want it. Why not just handle it like no one has ever handle it before? A nice photo is where everybody took the same style. You'll make a difference when you step out of your comfort zone like taking another view of photo would make you nicer and unique. The more difficulties you encounter, the more significant and higher you can find yourself achieve.

You think I have an issue??? No one has the right to perceive the perception of what you are, the value you perceive in yourself because we are the one that holds up the most important that no one could take away from us which are " pride, value, soul and the life". So think properly before anyone could control you.

Let's continue. I'm not like any other famous bloggers who are mostly rich ( rich family ) and you wouldn't see any of the branded stuff in my photo because I don't own any as I know, I have not reach to that level yet to take branded stuff which does not suits me at all right now. Branded stuff may seems so " valuable" and worth of price at that moment of salience recognition to us. However, after we purchase it, the product place on my house table, soon become like "it's still the same". Some people may not buy because of the product is just because of the brand which they buy.

I wanted to blog more but I'm mentally very exhausted right now. I shall continue my " the worst best news part 2" next blog. I know I talk a lot here but please let me be. Remember! This is the only place I could go for nagging, boasting and etc.

Good night peeps. Mwah~

New Picture Needed

2011-03-31T01:47:00.000-07:00

Wooooooo!!!!! I need a damn new picture to edit and make it as my blog's Header Photo.Grrr!!

It has been a long time since I had the last photoshoot.. :,( Can someone kindly please help me to take a photo??????

Actually today, I've taken quite a few photos of myself. woohoo.. So, I decided to post it here!

Camwhore moment!

Well, well, well, I will try my best not to post up all those emo stuff on my blog. However, please allows me to post some of my Emo'iest thing on my blog because this is the only way that I could express myself. Your patience is so much appreciated.

I shall post more of my photos and beautiful things around me and also some of my dear diary. Thank you for spending in your time to read my blog.

E.M.O

2011-03-15T05:33:00.000-07:00

Emo is the most saddest thing that could happens on anyone of us. What lies behind the emotional feeling is the worst situation one can face. Sometimes we could lie to ourself that we're gonna be Alright and give ourself a very strong reason just to hide the truth that we can't actually face it. We cried, we laughed, we puzzled, we lost and we sad over something that could remain in our memory forever.

For now, as you see the title I posted now, has certainly a clear vision and understanding that " I AM SO DAMN EMO" now.

You know what??? I used to off my cellphone silent because I know no one is gonna call me especially my the other half. I would hide my cellphone in my closet/ under my pillows/ inside my bag when we quarreled because I know he is not going to call or text me. The more I stare at the phone, the more I feel sad. That's the lie that I lied to myself until now that no one is going to call me..and when I saw miscall/text, I would be so damn happy. =)

Sigh! I know I do give attitudes and so on.. but deep down inside, what I always want is you. I just hope there is someone that could understand me.. I tried to make you happy and I hope there are time you could make me smile too.. I don't know what to do and I do not want to cry anymore.

I hope someday I would write something happy on this blog.. Someday~

When Will I Wake Up?

2011-03-02T18:40:00.000-08:00

Can you see that?? That's the acne on my cheek and acne scar under my lips! What the heck??! Grr.. I hate it. It's spoiling everything.

I always wanted to blog when I have some inspiration to blog however, my lappie was always not besides me and even if it does, I do not have internet connection. So, it makes no different.

Today, I took Mc.. Uhm.. it could say I'm sick again. Not that kind of sick that you guyz think..I'm not having fever or flu. It is..... uhm.. alright. Let me start few days back. I've been having urine infection since last monday till now. Today is getting worst as I can't sleep in the middle of the night and I was finding my bags, drawers and fridge to find my medicine. Omg! When I peed, gosh, i almost fainted because the pain is killing me. Then I saw something, blood.. "sigh". I wanna be healthy. Besides of this, I've been having real bad headache since last week. It is so undescribable. Will actually someone be there for me when I needed them the most ???

It's sad when everytime I thought of you. I don't know why as tears would be just shedding down my cheeks by itself. When will I wake up to know all these ain't true?? He is so right about me. I am very stupid. Stupid in everything. LIke what? Like crying for someone in 5 days in a row without wanting him to know bout that and thing stays the same.

I kept reading articles to improve myself in a relationship hoping that we will be happy someday. Not long ago, I felt this way. I am not the right one for you. In this relationship, each day passed by, I've felt like I'm more like a psycho gf that no longer belongs in the game. It's never his fault but mine. I'm very sorry that I couldn't bring you the happiness that you should have and I couldn't give you what you want.

Tears were rolling down when I wrote this blog... At this moment, there are mix pain in me... When will I wake up?

Living The Way

2011-02-07T06:34:00.000-08:00

First of all, I can't deny that I'm totally emotional unstable right now. There are so many things to adapt and so many things to cry about and laugh about. Unfortunately, laughing is not in my list tonight.

Many things happened to me since Last year's October and that's the time, things started to change tremendously. It wasn't what I really wanted. I called it 'saddening'.

I want to be me as I want it to be simple and a peaceful days passing by everyday. I'm very tired of living the way that I'm not used to it. How Long can it actually be the way that I want it to be????

I got this phrase from him which is eventually very true. " Somehow, there are things which will remain the same". It just never change and it's hardly for me to change as well.

Perhaps, relationship is just not my game?

Oohm~

2011-02-07T06:13:00.000-08:00

Oh my f****n God! How? It's so hard to face someone everyday at work and I superbly dislike bout it. What a Good news I got. I've to go down to kl with a fucktard and retard colleague for 4 days. It's torturing me man.

Right now, all I need to do is to cool myself down. I just couldn't believe it! Seriously, I have no idea how to stand with a dumbshiet. I couldn't do it.

Can someone please tell me how to deal with this kind of people please?

The Indispensable steps

2011-02-03T04:12:00.000-08:00

Gong Hei Fatt Choy!!! Happy Chinese New Year! First day of Chinese New Year, I did something GOOD which was me and my family went to Orphanage home and jubilee home to distribute AngPao! Now, I realized something. Alot of people are distributing AngPao to them. wooo...

The days before today, there were unhappy stuff that happened. I shall not mention it again but I Hope everything will be alright. From this moment onwards, I shall be myself to do things that I like and enjoy every moment just because life is too short for me to think so much.

I'll be going to queensbay sticks later to meet up my ladies. =) Well, although today is nothing much but I love it. stay cool.

It's Been Awhile

2011-02-01T03:53:00.000-08:00

1.2.2011 Tuesday

Ahoy Hoy!!!! Yes. I know it's been awhile since I updated my blog. My apology for not being consistent. But hey! I'm back now.

Today is the first day of February and I hope this coming everyday will be a good day for me.

Well, things had not got in my way smoothly last month. I couldn't say it is bad because I've learnt something from that. Meanwhile, I've been hanging out late at night more often than usual days.

This year, many things changed such as people around me, environment and etc. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Hmm.. I'm starting to get used to it already.

Oh no! I've to tidy up my wardrobe now. It's so terrible.

I'll update whenever I can and will attach with some photos as well.

The Checklist

2010-12-18T06:58:00.000-08:00

Have you fulfill the requirements needed by your the other half?

Everyone of us have the checklist of the ideal gf/bf criteria in the list. However, not everyone of us have what it takes to be the ideal gf/bf wanted by our the other half... *sad*

We seek for the best girl/guy of what they have the most in our checklist but mostly we would always hope for the perfect guy/girl to have all the criteria in our checklist. Unfortunately, it'll never come true as harsh reality has just destroyed our beautiful checklist, Our perfect romance of what we watched in the HK , Korean or English movies.

We could never find someone that could pass all the requirements in our checklist. How sad it is right?

Despite from the harsh reality, there is always a light of hope that would bring us to our loves one when the chemistry kick in. Although there have NO EVEN A NEEDED REQUIREMENT in our checklist, however, we still adore the way they are. That's why in a relationship, we learn from each other..and slowly, our the other half will be influenced by us or being influenced by them without us realizing it.

Thing is we could never/ hardly get the one that we always want BUT the other half that we get will always be the one to fulfill more than what we have in our checklist than what we had expected where their loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge/experience we shall gain.

Thereby a very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of LOVe (Stendhalzz).

Never wanted....

2010-12-17T06:37:00.000-08:00

Obviously, problems have been arising recently.. It has never been a good day for me and you.. You are so sick of me until you could f* me in the facebook on your wall.

Well, I was mad at the first place when i saw it.. but when i think back, it's already alright.

I'm such a failure and naive according to you.. You are already in the working industry and I just couldnt accept the way you want it to be..

Things happened that I did not wanted it to be.. I was extremely upset and I had no one to turn to.. and so, i thought of you.. I wish I could just break the contract like what you asked me too. I wanted to come back to Penang so badly that I could not imagine..

Your thinking was:

1: Im very sad as I couldnt do anything to protect and I feel like shiet.

2. Ive came up a good idea that could protect you but you refused to do so.

3. You never care bout my feeling.

4. You never put me before the job and you did not understand me..

5. You never think far....and you will always remain the same.. never change.

My thinking was:

1: Im very happy that you tried to do something to protect me. Unfortunately, I can't accept the idea of yours which has caused me to break my promises.

2.: I wanted to do the way you wanted it BUT I never can not to dont care bout the others.

3: With my action, it could have drag the whole team down.

I'm so scared of the questions that you kept asking... Ive never thought of telling you would have caused us in this way. It is far too way unacceptable.

Speechless.. Sorry for the leading the problem into a dead end.

Too Hard For Me..

2010-12-13T00:19:00.000-08:00

Life is never easy and Life is full of tough decisions to make. To be simple it ain't necessary easy as well. So, it's gonna be hard but it'll worth while for the effort we put in.

I've faced the hardest the decision to make as it involve something I really treasure.. :(

The feeling of having to choose either one never makes me feel any better that I've to lose either one...

There is a job opportunity offered to me whereby I may work at the company for these 3 months for my holidays. After my holiday, I may go back to study for the last semester and i'll be graduating around the month of June/July. The job is already right infront of me where I'm asked to join the company after I graduated.

The problem is I'll be working in the same company as my X. Therefore, the problem occurred where one will dislike it of me working in the same company as My X.

Job opportunity or Him???

Totally understand that it is not ok to work with ex but the job offer never come twice in the lifetime.

It is never true that I don't value him if i choose the job..

The decision has been made... You should know it better than anyone else.

It's just too hard for me..

I never wanted this way...

I'm so useless.. sigh. please take me away...

I'm in search of the light that could helps me.. I don't want to lose either one. Call me selfish...

I'm in the edge of the corner that almost give up on myself..

According to you, I never be the girl in your gf's checklist... I never have what you've required/want in a gf... But You've chosen me which made me felt so touched. thank you. I'm sorry that I did not fulfill the requirement that you want in a gf. Sorry.

All i've to say already said it to you.. I can't think of anything else...

I have to move on..... pls, fifi, be strong. You are too weak! You are not doing good enough! Make it better and face the fact!

Never what I've thought of

2010-12-11T07:47:00.000-08:00

Yiruma songs played. It was a nice and emotional songs to me.. Everytime i played the songs, it represented that I am sad.

I've not been a good person that I thought I WAS. I've not tried my very best which I thought I had.

Ive spoken to my current part time boss about some job opportunity and so on. Actually, Ive never expect that he could really take his words and do it Like asking me to go for an interview with the Penang boss. Hmm...

So, today, I'd received a news from my friend who informed to go for an interview on january when I get back to penang. I was so happy but......

hmm...............

Well, I dont think ima say it here.. Well, whatever it is.. I need to consider very seriously about everything from now on.

Life must goes on.. Dreams have to be achieved.

It was always a bright light shining through a way for me to take when I'm in the toughest time and the edge of hopeless. So, I believe, appreciate what I have now and believe in hardwork and dreams... Someday, we might be appreciated/remembered by someone. Although right now, i couldnt afford to fulfill my wants, I believe someday I can do it. It's just a matter of time.

8.12.10 and Half day of 9.12.10

2010-12-08T21:19:00.001-08:00

First Day in K.L : 8.12.10

5am : Woke up to bathe and prepared for breakfast

6.15am: Went out from house

6.35am : Reached Dim Sum house for breakfast

6.45am : Departed from the Dim Sum house to Terminal Bus

7.05am: Reached Sungai Dua's Terminal Bus.

7.06am -8.11am: Waited for the bus to begin my journey...

8.12am: Journey started. ( awh! I miss you and stephy )

1pm ++: Reached Kl. WAs so jam. haiz.

2pm++: Reached Seri Kembangan ( the area of "wonderful" house) It's Dirty!

3pm: Went to Seri Kembangan's Giant supermarket.

4pm: Wanted to go home but couldn't do so due to super HEAVY RAIN!

4pm - 8pm++: Stucked at the supermarket. No taxi drivers wanna come around the area of Seri Kembangan! Frustrated. Then, our owner of the house came to pick us.. God! our superman of the day.

8pm ++ : Reached the so damn house.

8.45pm: Departed from the house again as our van driver had reached the place to fetch us to The Mines for rehearsal.

12am : Reached home.

3am: Good night.

-End-

I'm So Connected with Em

2010-12-02T19:56:00.000-08:00

This is Me..

Fion a.k.a Fifi

Jia Hern a.k.a Stich

Angeline a.k.a Geline

Estella a.k.a Phing Jie

They shall receive an award of The best Friends of the year!!! Woohooo!!!! lolx

Savior of my day - Phuah Wen Hoong aka Siew Bak Kia- 2.12.10

2010-12-02T19:20:00.000-08:00

TaDaaa~!! Savior of My Day!

There he is, Mr. PHuah Wen Hoong. My savior of the day.. I heart him a lot. lolx..

Shall I begin with my story??

I climbed to get the blanket for a spa ( means wash ).. At that time I was talking to my daughter, Stephy ( furkid ). So, When I landed, I stepped on a stack of magazines and caused me sprained my leg with a sound of ( 'k...kee...ra...ck" ). The first thing that came across my mind was like WTF??!!! Again??!!! like now??!!!

GrrrRRr.. Hate it so much. I sat down there holding my leg tightly in order to reduce the pain for about 10mins.. Tears were shedding down my cheek, hoping mummy was there for me.. Damn my furkid! She was standing at the corner and gave me a stare. That's all! How I wish she would come and give me a sayang ( lick ) . grr..

After awhile, I tried to walk. Omg! I can walk! So I dun care much bout it. I went to take a nap.. So, right after I woke up..... Fuck! I cant WALK at all!!!! My leg cant even touch on the floor! The pain Strikes into my heart! Was wanted to cry out Loud! But.. I dont want..

I sat down to cool down.. Couple of mins later, I grabbed my clothes and jumped to take a bath. Fuu~ Shower really cool me down.. I texted him bout My leg.. He called me after his meeting..Then he took me to the Chinese Sifu. Owh... I am so thankful to have him and he lend me a hand when I needed someone the most at that time! Love him a lot.

The process of massaging was killing me softly and tenderly. It was so damn pain!!!!!!!!!

Here it is.... How my potato leg Look like.

REal damn like "bacang". Cish!!!

I cried in the middle of the night... It was so pain and also due to, I have a christmas show next week and I'll be going down to KL next wednesday. I cant afford to lose the job and injured right now. It's not in my plan! I need the money to pay off my road tax, car insurance, car installment and my expenses! I'm very depressed till now..

Whatever it is, I know being sad ain't gonna make anything right.

So, Ima think positively and fight for it.

" fifi, please think positively. Your leg will recover. Getting injured aint giving you any bad side effects. At least you'll know how to be strong when you are in this kind of situation. Less but not least, You know the people who willing to offer you help and people that helped you. So, you should be glad instead of depressed. Go on.. Everything happens for a reason. I bet this one as well."

Again, it happens this sem's Break. 30.11.10

2010-11-30T02:56:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's the last day of NOVEMBER already.. Time flies.. *Sigh*!! Tomorrow is my Statistic's final exam. fuu~ I dislike statistic so much or any subject regarding to numbers, I totally dislike! Hmph!

T.R.A.V.E.L

This semester's break, I couldn't get to go to travel again.. I've to work in order to support my living and all my expenses. Sigh. That's what we called as living, isn't it?

I so damn wish I could go for a short trip to Genting with my friends when they all said they are all going on this Friday.. But I couldn't due to financial problem. -down- I could feel burden on my shoulders are heavy. ='( What I could feel right now is I'm so fucked up with myself and disappointed as well. Ive always wanted to go for a holiday during my semester break.. Guess it wont happen to me until I'm financial "alright".

Seriously, I need a break. =( =( ArghhHhHhhhhHhHHHHHHHHhhhhhhHH!!!!!!

okok... "fifi, please think positively.You'll get to go for a holiday soon, alright??" smile bah. It just another day to move on.

I'm So Done

2010-11-26T04:57:00.000-08:00

The title of the post had shown that I'm EMO and this blog post is gonna be EMO again. I wish to be happy, you know????

Can you see that picture of me? I wanted it to be colourful so badly and yet, it cant totally turns out to be colourful. A little bit of beige colour and not much of being colourful had represented how I'm feeling right now. Picture seen to be blur as the vision I'm seeing is so Blur.. I can't see the path taken to be as clear as I wish.. I grab it so tight and wish it could be mine. Unfortunately, it'll not be mine.. Just so done with tears, hope, wish and expecting.

When you've known the truth about something not gonna work out but still you wanna give it a try because you love someone.. Will that proves that you are unconditionally in love or it represent that you're silly?

One said to me" You're the failure of all your relationships". . So, I'm really the one that failed all my relationships.

I'm drown in the street than sea.. Beautiful nightmare.. I could not feel the miracle.. I dont see anything positive.. I can't take it but I'll try to hold on.. I'm never gonna give up unless someday you come up to me and say it, "we're done"

I don't mad at you and I don't hate you. I love your imperfections and I'm accepting it.. Thereby, You're finding someone compatible.. Guess I'm not so , baby. As long as you're happy...

Bitter and Sweet -17.11.2010 -

2010-11-17T06:16:00.001-08:00

It was supposed a wonderful today for me. Everything seems so right, so sweet and wonderful in the morning even though my working place was fucking hot!! Everything seems to go smoothly and the taste of the water was sweeter than I thought.

Till then, something turned ugly in the afternoon and thus, it was raining! What the heck?!!

I was already EMO'ING & yet it rained. . .

Tears were shedding inside of my heart.. I even have to fake a smile to my customers and hold back my tears..

I turned to you because I thought of you. I didn't know things will turned ugly until the moment i read your text message. I was so hurt deep down inside my heart. I'm so speechless and I felt alone... Rain pouring heavily. Thunder storm strike so loudly that woke me up.. I can say, it was the hardest moment for me to even go through the half of the day.

Until now, writing this blog ain't feeling any better.. Tears rolling down on my cheek when I recall about the moment.. wait! hold on. I need to console myself.

" fion lee, don't cry please.. be tough will you??? You can do better! Don't break down, pls. Cry not helping anything gets better. You have to keep moving! "

ok.. until evening, there was a bottle of warm & nice herbal tea sent to me. thank you so much..I was so cold just now as my clothes were wet... thank you so much my friend. You pull me through the day.

Love Cycle

2010-11-13T06:20:00.000-08:00

Hey awesome readers! I apologize for those emo stuff being posted on my blog. However, a blog is a way to express our cognitive thoughts, isn't it? hah! Personality reflect our mood and feeling by day to day. To me, blog is my only way to express myself without feeling regret as this is only a way that I could feel better.

The topic: Love Cycle

New love New relationship New starts Have always been a fresh kick for everyone as the feeling is New, fresh, with the phrase, " I'm so in love with you" & etc.

Let's make an initial for New Love, New relationship and New starts as " NLRS".

Undoubtedly, rational thinking has always been hidden behind the thought of feeling in LOVE with your NEW PARTNER.

Afterall, complains and comparison will soon begin to evolve into the relationship without thinking YOUR NEW PARTNER'S feeling. So, where's the sweetest moment that YOu guyz used to have???

'NLRS' will soon be forgotten. To be forgotten of how sweet it was, how nice it was and so on.. Can you actually get back those feeling you used to have? Hmm... It's possible you know. It sounds like Impossible don't you?

Well well well, try to reminisce the time you guyz together and please please think back what's the problem behind the curtain that actually drag all the problems into this stage.

Sometimes what we need is to speak our partner's Language! We girls usually expect our partner to do this and that for us but we've slowly forgets the way we should play our part as well.

What do girls actually expect our the other half to do??

Here's the answer.

1. We expect them to care about our feeling.

2. To know when we are upset when they talk something they shouldn't have infront of us and their friends.

3. To know how pain is our PMS!

4. To read our body language.

5. To be hug by them from behind when we are so sad, worried, or washing dishes in the kitchen! aha! lolx.

6. To be touched on our hands when we got problems and asked " Dear, I'm here to listen and here for you"

7. To know what we want when there were hints given! hah! bet you guyz don't know how to read it.

What we girls need to do as well ?

Here it is.

Hug them and tell them that how much you actually miss/love him.
Make them something even a card like GRAMMY AWARD FOR YOU! You sing the rhythm of my heart!!!
If it's possible, before give them a kiss on the forehead before/after bed OR when drop us at work/college. ( what??! Too much??!! Can't do it? Actually we can, that's the way to let em feel that we actually care bout em)
Touch their hands when we're in some kind of argument for after a few seconds of cooling down.
Observe their body language and words that they speak..
( WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT- in a case of telling ourself of how hard we've tried our best)

I may not describe the best of what I can do and about those 'NLRS' but that's what I'd thought about and remember? blog is a way of expressing my cognitive thinking and my feeling as well. So, don't mind me please if I'm wrong.

Good night everyone. I need to get my arse down the chair and do my fucktard assignment. Damn!

Love you guyz. xoxo

The Ex'ess.

2010-11-09T04:38:00.000-08:00

Holla!!!!!!!!!!!! I got the mood to blog and things to blog about!!!!! awh yea. Let's get it started, shall we?

I got this issue about the Ex'es ( ex-girlfriend/ ex- boyfriend ).

Hmm..

Do you ever like your bf/gf to ever mention the words " my ex" infront of you?

Your answer would be?

Never mind because I understand the reason why you bring up those 2 words?

How would you feel actually??

The feeling would be certainly not OK! although our conscious mind telling us that it is alright even though your bf/gf bring up those words, isn't it?

You are totally dislike it.

Especially we girls. We are so sensitive to the issue of boyfriend bringing up the words of EX infront of us! It's like so disrespect! Regardless of you rational reasons and so on , we girls will also be so upset to hear about it. It's like you guyz can't get over with your ex and yet you want to be with us! Just erase whatever shiet feelings towards your ex then only Start a new relationship !

Seriously, it is so damn unfair to the current girlfriend. I did not say you cant reminisce bout the memories with your EX but couldn't you just keep it to yourself? So hurtful to have listen what you mentioned of your ex.

HOw do you guyz wish us girls to react to you when You mention bout it?

1. Expect us to understand with an open heart?

2. Pretend we are really ok with it?

3. You want us to console you instead of gettin' mad?

Letting your bf/gf feel that they are living in your past relationship ain't a good idea. You could never imagine how sad it is deep down inside their heart...

Understanding is a part of being rational and feeling is just too evil to play around in our mind.

I need to go now. good night.

The moment

2010-11-03T00:32:00.000-07:00

I'm now at the Starbucks with my classmates.. Fuu~ Mariah Carey's songs played.. Hmmm...

I promise to update my blog soon. Im very sorry for not updating my blog recently, my dear readers. Ive been up to assignments lately as due date is just around the corner.

Take care. Hugz.. Soon....

MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER DIE

2010-10-29T07:32:00.000-07:00

Ive been a very bad bad girl today as i tried to joke with my BB and got him upset instead. I wish I could retrieve all my words and wish it didn't happened at all.

I hate that we have to argue over something so insignificant! How I wish I could just say 'I love you' with a big hug!

I will try to live up to him as he also promised to live up to me. I can forsee that we will be living happily and I commit to make him my priority!

For the next 3 months. I will make myself available to:-

1) Cook for my B. =)

2) Watch more movies in OUR mini theater.

3) TREAT HIM LIKE A KING.

4) Take him out on dates.... =P

5) Always tell him how nice he's treating me.

6) Repeatedly remind him he's important in my life.

This concludes my post for today...xoxo ( My "Evil", "Forceful" boyfriend, Who by the way uses too much WAx forced me to post this )

Buttons that I Need

2010-10-23T01:10:00.000-07:00

I NEED " D.E.L.E.T.E " BUTTON AND " F.O.R.W.A.R.D " BUTTON.!!!!

Tried to Reach You.

2010-10-19T05:19:00.000-07:00

I am officially sick today like how it was like during the Chinese New Year where I was admitted into the hospital after some kind of gastric - ( vomited and diarrhea ). GggrrRreat~ Im facing it right now....

I had vomited 6 times since 3pm ++ until now, 8.20pm.... I am so weak right now.. Well, I got no one to reach out by this time...Ive tried to reach out for your help but you never answered my call. Till then u called back and I was in the toilet vomiting.. I called you back but I guess You were having fun or with your friends.. You never cared to ask me anything.. Ended up, I said " Nothing already." He replied, "ok".

Guess what? I'm too disappointed in you.. I should ask myself.

1. Why would he needs to care for you?

2. Why want him to help you?

3. Why do you think he'll help you?

But, I am lucky and happy to have him... He answered my call when Im in pain... Right now, Im waiting for him to fetch me to see as I am too weak to drive now... Thank you so much. I heart you.

I Am Going To Go Through This.

2010-10-12T04:27:00.001-07:00

Do you know?

It's never easy to pull the trigger to end them because it's just too difficult.

Besides that, it's also hard to to have the courage to walk away from the comfort of a relationship even a bad one and be alone for what may be awhile.

What's more?

Ans: It's always easy to find reason not to end it by ..." dont have the money to be on my own or I can't stand the thought of him being with anyone else. "

All this while, I'm just merely procrastinating and delaying the inevitable by staying in a relationship that's on life support isn't going to bring it back to life.

It is, in effect, broken. The sadness in turn doesn't make it less broken. I've reached this point where one or both of us feel that walking away is the best course of action, the cracks are there.

My life is not a yard sale. It's time to get rid of all the broken stuff that I've been lugging around for years and make this bold decision to start looking for stuff that works.

Being the first one to recognize my relationship isn't a match doesn't win me any great prize. Its just the guilt of having to hurt someone's feelings.

I've become attached to what's familiar and sometimes I hold on to things that are safe and predictable even if they're bad for me. A lot of the pain Im experiencing right now is actually fear.

Fear of things being different than how I liked them, fear of being alone or fear of having to fill my time differently. I'm always afraid of unknown.

Fion Lee, please be a tough one and get through this.

Take a deep breath, steel myself and realize that this is going to hurt for a while.

hmm...

1o.1o.1o Hmmmm....

2010-10-10T01:57:00.000-07:00

Today is SUNDAY 10.10.10

I would like to take this opportunity to update my blog on such a beautiful day for me accompanied by soft and slow songs.... I'm enjoying the moment right now.

Today is a special date/day as the numbers are all same.. I just dislike last year's 09.09.09. It was never a good memory for me to remember as there were things happened to me. However, this year is also the same but not as bad as like last year.. At least this year, I'm not Blinded by "YOU". I'm awake by now of how stupidly I was last time when "YOU" just took me for an option for you to choose.. The time past so slow for me and pieces of my heart broken were actually so hard for me in the fact that you ignored me and how I begged you, there were no feedback from you. The more I called the more sad I was. Everything is alright by now.

I should say thank you for having you once in my life. Although sad things appeared and so on, but still you're appreciated for who you are. I'm glad that I did get one step closer to you. Thanx.

Now, it'll all on me.. In me, I'll become a better person.

Life gets better, isn't it?

They said, today is a special day. So spend it with your dearest ones.

Guess who's my dearest ones???

Answ: oF Course my daughter (furkid) Stephy Lee... How sweet I am right??

Right now, everything seems so impossible to me. Somehow Someday, I hope it'll be possible.

My fellow friends, I hope you all are having a great day on such a wonderful day like today.

Inspiration To Write Love Quotes

2010-10-05T05:32:00.000-07:00

Awh~ These words have been playing like a rhythm in my mind. Now, I would like to Express it out!! haha.

Mind me if it's sucks!!! =p

Let's Get it started !

- I would love to stuck in the traffic jam with you, because I wanna see you more than a seconds, mins and hours.

- Your smile melt my heart.

- Your foot steps make my heart bounced fast! It'll make me more excited!

- I would lend you my pillow to sleep on when you're exhausted. Just to have your scent on my pillow that'll reminds me of you every night I sleep.

- Although every second I'm with you, I still miss you so much.

- I'm your sugar candy..

- Can I just drop the embarrassment moment just to run to you and kiss you??? Because your lips just taste as sweet as my heart feel for you.

- How if I say you're the only that will affect my mood? It's because you're the only one that just matters to me. Every single thing and every single way, I do.

- Only me knows how it feels to be with you. Nonetheless of the others. You're the one I believe in.

- Hope is all I got until You came. You break the dawn just for me.

- You may loose the a second to miss me but I never do loose the time I never miss YOU.

That's the quotes I wanted to Express. I hope you'll enjoy it. =D

Please Stop Me From Dreaming

2010-10-05T05:19:00.000-07:00

I Just watched " THE REBOUND" casted by Catherine Zeta Jones and Justin Bartha.

Justin Bartha is simply the nicest guy Ever! Awh~ I felt so sweet in my heart.. =D Can I have that too? The feeling is just amazing. It's the nicest thing to have when we are loved by the one we loved.

Another dreaming day after watching it.. I just don't want to wake up and face the reality.

Ish ish!!! Wake up FION LEE!!!

Love movie always the best!!! As, , , , in the movie's story line there'll always a happy ending or can be said perfectly beautiful with the partners. However the ugly side is always the most hurting moment. hah! What can i say more???

It'll just never be beautiful for me because I'm just stuck in the purgatory of my own obsessive mind??? ARgh! I know I shouldn't be complaining either because complaining ain't making any changes for me, right?

haha..

Finally.... and Lastly

2010-10-03T07:13:00.000-07:00

Hallo. Good evening everyone. =) I'm very happy today as I met up with my old kindie friend. How nice it is huh? The most interesting part is I realize NOT all men which are not gentlemen. He is the only exceptional to those. SEe! I'm complimenting you! You should be proud huh.. At least knowing you let me feel there's always another better out there. thank you.

Right now, I'm reading a book called " It's called broke up because it's broken". Hmmm....

How sad it is to be in a broken relationship when we know its not working out for us but STILL we put hopes on it..Drag-Wait-Broken .. The content of the book is really really meaningful to me.

This word " used to " has been haunting me for these few years. I wish I could have the courage to do it!

How did you ever treated me when u said broke up???

I wish I could have a comfortable day with you but it has soon became a numb for me....

Numb for me to act first.

To ask first.

To offer first.

To plan first.

I really wish to feel like Ima girl. Let me feel pamper but I guess those feelings had fade away and I couldnt be more merry right now.

Weary, Confused...... If only you could say it to me.. I'll be thankful.

A new job

2010-10-01T08:02:00.001-07:00

Hellu.. Finally I got myself a new job. A damn new job for me! Ima kindie daycare Teacher!

Woot woot~ Phew..Witt~!!! lolx.

They called me " TEacher Fion"... haha..Bangga betui sampai boler kembang dah! lolx.

uhm Uhm.. The job required a lot of patience and LOVE. Ive to show my LOve to those children.. Its a new challenge for me. Hmm... I cant imagine that Their thinking are totally MATURED!

For eg: children: " Teacher Fion, Do you think you can handle us?"

Me: "I think so. ?"

children: " Are you married? If not, why are you wearing rings?"

Me: Because my mum gave it to me..

Gosh!! They got lotsa questions to ask!!!!! However, I LOVE them alot.

Frankly, taking care of children is more tiring than taking care of my DAWG!

I hope I will be a good teacher.. AHEM AHEM. lolx.

Good night everyone. sweet dreams.

Meaningless

2010-09-27T06:22:00.000-07:00

Writing this blog post aint giving me any good feelings bout it because I'M SICK & TIRED of it. Guess I'm too demanding or the "shiet" isn't doing anything right? I hate keep asking, reminding and informing!

For a festive season, isn't its a must / need to buy YOUR gf's parent some gift?

For example: Mooncake festival.. Arent boyfriend need to buy the mooncake as a gift for the girl's parents? It is not like being mean to force/ to remind/ to ask/ to tell bf to buy that for your parent! They should know what to do instead of gf telling them what they should do! Damn. So un-gentleman.

In our Chinese tradition, it is a manner of respect and a gift of heart to show to the girl's parent especially their mum!

HOW IF YOU ALREADY ASKED YOUR BF TO BUY/ REMIND HIM BOUT THAT, BUT HE SAID " You didn't buy for my parents also."

How will you react if your bf ever tell u this?????

I'm so devastated and frustrated with all those un-gentlemen guys surrounding me daily.. ARgh! hate it so much. jUst F outa my life pls. You do not deserve to be a guy! Be girl instead coz u Look like one of em!

Let me bring you back to 4.9.2010

2010-09-16T00:22:00.000-07:00

Activities on 04.09.2010 ( My Buff'Day)

All right. all right. I know Ive been a LIL inconsistent with my blowgie here.. I know i know. Im sorry.

Here are some photos that I took during my Buffday.

This is me. Photo taken at home.

Taken at the hotel room

This is My Pressie.

See! My pressie!!!

The process of unwrapping my pressie.

OOps! Still another one to go??? Tang tang tang TANG~!!! My real Pressie!

So, this is my Lil pressie. I love it so much!

Quality tested by taking photo using it.

Ahhh~ Subway Burger~ Added Chese, Turkey! n ETc... :P

This is how my room looks like. :D

The view from the left.

The view from the right.

Look down. This it is.

Centre view from the room.

All I needed Right now - Spa Massage

2010-09-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Can you see that???? Can you???

Awh~ I want that so desperately. I felt so damn tired and wish to have a nice handy massage on my back, shoulder, BUTT, head and legs...

Imagination goes WILD! Roar! Imagine if there's a hot chick massage for me on my back with the massage oil. Gosh! It feels so good and warm with her soft hands.

The lady massager MUST WEAR like the picture shown above! hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! Hot huh?! Then with her nice scent on her body that I could smell.. Woooo!!

I like that I like that!

So what is YOUR imagination of Your ideal lady/man massager????

Recall 3.9.10

2010-09-08T03:44:00.002-07:00

SA RANG CHAE

Light dishes

Steamed Hot dog and broccoli

Fruit Salad and the other plate is Pumpkin????

KimChi

Alright! This dish is pork! lol.. It tasted so so good! The tang hoon is Xtremely nice. I love it. Although it's spicy.. Likey

Miso soup??? lolx.

This is ME!

Ladies that I was with for that dinner.

I sincerely apologize for posting it such late. sorry... I love that dinner! I would like to have it another time. :D The food was GREAT! Importantly is, Ladies filled restaurant with cheers, Noise and Laughter! What can I say? They are fun.

Oh no! Can I turn back the time to last week please???

Certainly no, right? * slap* wakey fifi.

Oops.. I gotta hand off my lappie now.. Ima enjoy my chipster with drama now. =D

Replacement pictures for the post title - I'll Show you My Retarded Face-

2010-09-05T08:39:00.001-07:00

The picture below is the replacement for the post title stated above. I do not know why it cant be viewed. Just in case you guyz cant get to view, so here it is.

So sorry for the inconvenience caused.

More to Come Soon...

2010-09-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

Halo! I'll upload more pictures here for the last saturday's activities (which was my BUFFDAY) as I'm editing the pictures now..

????

???

So, Be patience...

UPCOMING MORE PICTURES SOON !!!

I'll Show you My Retarded Face

2010-09-02T07:29:00.003-07:00

BOREDOM

This is how I spent my Boredom~

Too bored to do anything. So I finally decided to snap some photogs The picture below snapped 2/3 weeks ago already. But I did not know how to combine these photos together until now. So I decided to upload it here.

Not consider retarded / funny??? Alright! I'll try to snap more UGLY! FUNNY! muahahaha..

I've Learnt Something-

2010-08-31T06:44:00.000-07:00

Discover more than what you are expecting and discover is about learning all the way through your life..

Well, I got all these words flying in my mind on yesterday and today about the topic to blog. I was very excited to share with all my dear readers. Lotsa words make you LAZY to go reading huh.. I'll try to attach some pictures on my blog, just to make sure u don't stop reading.

On the 30/8, I attended my class at college and it came by that my lecturer was teaching us more than what it had on the notes. He shared with us about LIFE. I still bare in mind of what he had said to us.

Usually Girls out there included ME as well, will definitely go for a Guy with 5C's.

What is 5C's?

1. Cash

2. Credit card

3. Cars

4. Career

5. Condominium

Actually, it is not indicated what we girls looking for are wrong but we actually need to reconsider the other sides of the values. My lecturer said the most important is not the 5C's but the 2H's.

It is ;

1. Honesty

2. Hardworking

Without both of the H's, a guy who is rich, handsome and so on, is unreliable on them in future. Undoubtedly, its true. Let's move on into another part.

I admit that I am Sarcastic, Realistic and Materialistic. Yes, I am. I am truely who I am and I always wanted to change and have those simple life and simple thinking. Honestly, I cant.

Let me tell you why. The first thing, having a boyfriend doesnt mean that you love him, you obey him, you give him what he wants and so on. For girls, Ima girl, yea. I always wanted a secure relationship. Elaborate secure. I want my bf to have future! A steady future.. That I can see.. Then, to be true, my love language is GIFT. Its all about special days like my birthday, valentines day & etc, I wish he would gimme an unforgettable memory which importantly must include me PRESENTS! No Chepo present puhlease....

What do I mean by chepo present?

- It is to buy me something that isn't for me, it is because he has to buy it, so he bought it.-

It is like a girl without pride/ unvalueable to him or just to entertain you. I dislike that seriously. I would have throw that present infront of my bf or What ive done before, I threw it on the floor, & leave it just like that. Until my mum came to clean my room and she put it on my rack.

Now, if you ask me where is that present, I would tell you, "Im sorry,dear.I got no idea".

Dating for me is about testing besides of lovey loving, sweet talks & etc. WHAT??? Ridiculous???

No, it is not ridiculous at all! I meant testing in the period of dating with your boyfriend is somehow to know the true colors of them whether they are gentlemen, caring, willing to spend on you & etc.

If the guy without complains & they actually did their parts as a boyfriend... We girls will actually know and we girls can sacrifice more than what they can give to us. When we got married, we girls will definitely be more stingy! be more caring! be more loving! than what the guys have given us. That is the examination and also a guarantee, I called for dating period.

I'm sorry to say that BECAUSE marriage is just one of our life. If we ever choose wrong, That's IT! Path is the choice we choose. So before divorce thing happen, open eyes big big before its too late.

Ima stop my sharing now... I have to go to bed d... tata

oH my~

2010-08-29T07:43:00.001-07:00

Loudest SIGH! " Haiz..~~~" College classes has begun.. Tomorrow is the 2nd week of the semester. Im superbly disappointed with my one the subject's result. It is totally unacceptable!! haiz... alright. Skip this part.

Next! Banci thing gonna over after tomorrow. Tomorrow is the last day for me!!!

Yay! But. Yea, BUT... I still have to pack another part of my control area into a box and check it one by one! Ridiculous! REally! Government has no proper procedures in the census population. We were given training and so on.. And every time they changed their words and their policy. That has proven, census population is inaccurate and BULLSHIT! Just a waste of Citizen's money!

For example: Respondents that came back to the house just 2 or 3 times a month but they're living at other place, also counted! That means it will be counted as twice! What the???

Just because afraid of Penang citizen's population decreased, they wanted us to put Estimation, ethnic, and ridiculously is to know their name as well. How can we know their name by asking the neighbors??? zzzzzzz!!!

Then, comes with claim form. They do not provide us claim form but to ask us to photocopy by ourselves AND rewrite everything all over again when it got rejected. One date for one page. Is this call " GO GREEN"?? So called encouraging people to practice recycle and yet government is the FIRST who are not practicing it!

Lousy system they applied as it is not encouraged for people to use E-census!

Said not enough budget, this and that. While, there are so many briberies and so on among those " ahem ahem" ( u know i know) that are going on inside the organisation.

Sigh~~~ Malaysia "BOLER".

Tomorrow will be a long day for me.. Full schedule.. I need to rest now.. good night..

You made me feel...

2010-08-24T07:01:00.000-07:00

I was wanting to have you so badly but I couldn't afford to bring you back home with me.

Im sorry.Today, I went to a pet shop near Jamal, Tanjong Tokong and I saw a very adorable puppy. She was so so so CUTE! She is a Chi Hua hua, Long coat. UHm.. Her little head is black colour but her body is in white. Owh gosh! Call me insane. I wanted her so badly but it cost me RM1k after negotiated with the "tauke niao".

Sigh..

I thought I could have you back with me as earlier, my sister was like want/dun wan to buy...

I tried to convince her but failed. At first, she wanted to pay for the deposit first and we'll go withdraw money. Unfortunately, when we stepped outta the pet shop, she changed her mind.. I was so down and disappointed.

For the very FIRST TIME! I couldnt speak out to the "tauke niao" that Im not going to

buy already.. It was so so hard for me.. She had bathed the puppy...The pup was freezing. Then we suddenly said dont want....

I felt so bad and pity for the pup..I really like the pup so so so so much!

Sigh.. Im just useless..

Earth Sharing with Spirits ( Ghost Festival )

2010-08-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

This is me. Ghost Festive.

What's more than a Ghost Festival in this lunar seventh month??

Actually, I'd watched the HK's Guai Tam ( pronounce it in Cantonese ). It attracted my attention few years back ago and I love to watch it although I expected more than what it showed.

Recently the topic caught my attention which is " Ghost's Gate" of how do human actually enter into hell. I like this a lot. If it's true, I wonder how can I enter into another dimension of the other world that we eventually never seen it before. I heard from the "Guai Tam" that there are 11 dimensions exist but until now, there are no scientist that able to invent something to enter it. Hmm~

I wish to:

1) Enter hell and heaven ( other dimensions) by myself before I die.

2) Have a machine that can brings me to the past and witness my past life.

3) See what I cant see which is under my control. (Eventually it wont happens. It only happen when I dont wish! )

4) Have the kindness like Goddess.

Frankly, I'm so afraid of death because I am not a good person and I haven't do something that goes beyond our human kindness. I'm very sure Ima send to hell after I die..~

I believe in karma and I actually realize that day by day, my mind, my heart and my eyes is blinded with something called, Reality and Society that I've almost forgotten the guidance of my religion. Once I read the sutra, I found myself very sinful and cant compared to the God and I believe, God is getting tired and sad to see what's the human has become.

NOW, we are all sharing the earth with spirits now. Even when we're walking, talking, sleeping and so on, there'll always be some spirits with us.. This is the only time they don't have to suffer so much. The only time to go home and see their beloved family. I hope to see them.

The way You Care....

2010-08-13T02:16:00.002-07:00

I would like to take this opportunity to express how I actually love the way you care for me.

To me: You're an Angel sent from above whom given the task to care for me.

You're indescribable Goddess in my Life.

Her ( MOM ):

When there were toughness time I ever faced, = You would seek for solution to help me through the hardest time.

When I fall sick, = you would cook and buy me medicine and check if my sick is getting better or worst.

When I got problems = You would be a good listener although u don't seems to understand.

When I got no place to go = You would always offer me a shelter and arms for me to lean on.

When I got no money = You would always buy me food, give me some pocket money.

The one ( BOYFRIEND )

When there were toughness time I ever faced = BF will just console in msg/ phone but not making any move/offer to help.

When I fall sick = BF will only ask if you need any medicine instead of coming over to check if you're alright.

When I got problems = BF will just listen impatiently as all the problems you heard is only a trouble to you.

When I got no place to go = BF will just ask you whether you got any other place to go instead of finding ways to help you. or BF will just asked you to stay over his house and that will become a burden for him.

When I got no money = BF will be the 1st one to get away as they would not offer to borrow you money and the reason is no money OR pretend did not hear what you say.

All that, what she can do, cant be done by a "BOYFRIEND" as they expect us to do it for them instead they do it just for us when we needed them. I just know as a boyfriend to me, they will once become a stranger after break up. What we've done for them will eventually swept away.. Every little things we did, BF cant feel it or realize it. BF? suck it! Put more effort on mom is better than BF! heartbroken is just a period of time.. cant let go because the term 'used to the living style with him'.

Have you ever think of mum when u got bf/gf? Think it thoroughly.

Everyone would have think of their bf /gf 1st before their parents. Will you think of watching movie with your mum? Would you have candlelight dinner with your mum? Did you ever think what you did for your bf/gf to your mum????

So! Mom, You are the best because You are always be there for me without complaints. You are no one that can ever replace the place inside my heart even boyfriends as you did much more than what a boyfriend can do. If I ever can make you become my HUSBAND, I will propose to you because debts that I owed you can never pay in my life. You would be my dearest mum, boyfriend, and husby! U may say me psycho or nuts! lol.

In need of Something New?

2010-08-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

Hmmm.. Right now, all I wish is to have some changes for myself or something around. I hope and wish of Surprises! or Something NEW/ Different! Gosh! I want that so badly. It's bored without' em. Can I get back those excited feeling, anxious and merry feeling? ppppee...liss.....??? It has been a long long time since I felt it.. Really wish to find it back..

Im being nonsense here..Oh ya! Today I went to watch TEKKEN! The story line was just alright for me... BUT I LIKE THAT "JIN" ! He's cool, cute and muscular! lolx. Can i have him for just a day??????? huahuahauahauah.. Dream/ fantasize brings me beyond my imaginary. Its good to dream as it can bring/ help me to think something I never expected it to happen. So, Dream on!

Now, I would like to get my arse up from the chair and get to bed because IMA dream of you~. ^,^ nice~ see you in my dreamland.

Dinner with Penyelia and Pembanci

2010-08-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

From left to right : Ling Ling, Corina and Me ( They are my Pembanci ) Love them alot!

From left to right : Ng, Me, Boey Boey and Ong ( Penyelia )

I attended a dinner at Li Teik school at 7.30pm with Penyelia'sss and Pembanci'ss as well. That was the school 39th anniversary. I didnt ate much because the food wasn't taste nice at all. Hmm..Very choosy huh.. For food, Yes I am. Lolx.. Unfortunately, I did not get any prize for lucky draw as usual. Sigh~ I wanted a fan! No luck for that dinner. The songs were all OLDIES which very unsuitable for my age to listen. hahahaha.. Eventually, I enjoyed that dinner. I precious the moment our group spent together as Banci Penduduk dan Perumahan just will held 10 years once. I think 10 years later, I would be 32 years old already. I guess, many things will change at that time. hmmm....

NEXT! I grab the chance to actually camwhore in ma ROOM! huahuahua...Let's see how it is...

I'm just thinking that there is nothing else but simplicity is the best as being a fool is not stupid at all. It's just that, one finds another simpler path to go through. We human always make things complicated when there is another way can be chosen.

Sometimes there ain't no one that care for you except for our lovely family. Unfortunately, the reality is cruel for the people we once loved or love would eventually hurt us or it can be said most of the people around us will do. Somehow someway, one finds the people who are worth suffered for.

They said Silence is Bliss. So what do you think? I think Silence is a virtue for me to hear the imperfections of myself. Thus, mouth is the one that harms and also heals for by I eat junkfood/unhealthy which causes sickness, utter words that actually unintentionally hurt the others which influenced ill. Then heals is about the kindness and care from the words uttered may bring good deals to people.

Whatever I see and whatever I listen is actually depends on how narrow or straight i choose to define. Then,the toughness time is actually will not last BUT a tough person will eventually last forever. So, Stay strong and fight with the weak thinking/evil thinking within us.

I got Myself Something....

2010-08-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

It's called the "Purple Rain"

Today! After went to Macallum 354 to get claim forms from My pembanci, I went to gurney to get myself something instead of just waiting for my sis. Yippie..

I got myself :

1. Majolica Majorca's Mascara
2. Maybeline's concealer
3. Garnier's whitening cream

4. Elianto's cake spounge

5. Elianto's waterproof mascara

6. Elianto's eyeliner

7. Elianto's hand Cream ( I like the smell- rose-)

8. Cleo, Minna and Popteen Magazines.

9.A pair of flat shoes.

I'm extremely happy about it! hahaha!!! So so happy! It's true! Shopping is a girl's best'est medicine in the world.. I guess its only works for me??? haha. happy happy ya ya~ Then me and my sister actually went to Food & Tea for dinner. SEe the drink above? That's actually what I Ordered. The drink is called Purple Rain but its in BLUE! After I drank, My sis told me " Do you know you look like a dead people now with poisoned lips?" I answered " oh?!!!REally?!! " Then I stopped drinking that so called PUrple Rain although it left half of the glass. It actually taste like the ice cream stick where it sells RM0.20 each which got colors for you to choose such as green, purple, red, yellow and so on.. That's how it tasted like.

I'm still thinking what color I should dye for my hair. Hmm..Darker or lighter this time??? sigh. I hope I could make up my mind asap.

Tried to fill up something for my background.

The picture I took last Friday...

At least I managed to camwhore awhile.. I just took two picx only due to sleepyness after whole day activities inclusive of working.... I'll try to take more pictures next time...

ARghhh!!!! I gotta start checking my documents now! Have to hand in tomorrow.. What the...???!!

Thought of......

2010-08-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

I thought of quite some numbers of things these few days. After I've watched Inception, I thought of building my own's inception like they did. Hmm..how i wish and how i wish it'll be possible! However, I thought of six sense! Six sense plus inception must be very Interesting!!!! For me, sometimes i would have my so called six sense but then it doesnt happens so often. I believe everyone of us would have some so called natural six sense such as hints for us before we do something. LIke it says " Things happen for reasons." & before the things happens, hints are given to us but our mind is not strong enough to read/ notice/ realize the hint given to us. Hmm... It's somehow hard to describe it..
Nvm.. The next thing I thought of is... " ta da!" I wan to dress up my ride!!! haha.. i wish this and i wish that.. awh~ How i wish huh.

*punch* Fion ! Stop dreaming. ish ish!!~ I really really thought of controlling myself not to buy so many clothes/ other stuffsSss! I hate my lil devie in my mind that keeps making me so tempted to buy those things and I could give lotsa reasonsSs just to buy that thing. After awhile, I would have put that thing that I once wanted so badly aside. I promise and I really really THOUGHT of saVING Money! It's so hard for me.. I wish someday I could be a good saver and not a big spender.

Oh! I thought of taking good care of my skin! My skin is so so dry! I do not have any knowledge on any skin care. Grrr.. I thought every girl would have known this. Guess Im not? Any suggestion which good skin care brand to buy?

Problems Im facing with my skin is DRY! I want my face to be shiny, smooth, fair and lesser pores! It looks so ugly! Plus, im having a bad bad panda eyes here.. Any cure???

Hmm... I should be writing my claim form now.. It turns out, im blogging here.. What the er?!

Double Hectie and Wackie & self absorbed

2010-07-29T19:33:00.000-07:00

ARgh argh!!! My phase 1 banci has been bounced due to amount of empty houses has exceeded 15% and I have to redo/recheck it over again and the due date is 4th of August and phase 2 due date is 6th of August. There are alot of things to do but too little time I have and yet checking those documents did by my Pembanci is a DISASTER! (Not all but some) Looking at the documents, you would have the kind of thinking of " I wish to whack that fella". Unfortunately i cannot do that. It's already phase 2 but mistakes are getting worst than ever... I did not get to have a nice and relax weekend for a month already!! I need a bREak seriously! My sem is starting soon... I want a holiday but financially doesnt allow me to do so....Sigh

Hate that so much.. -cool down cool down- Alright. fuu~

Oh ya! I also got good news too.. Tonight i'll be watching movie with my friends - Inception- Oh yea. I hope I can understand the story of the movie if not, i would be asking around after the movie..yuppie..

Tomorrow is saturday and i needed a break so desperately! So ive decided not to pick up any call/ leave my cellphone at home/ turn it off.. Likey so much!!!!! After the banci things started, i got to have phoebia of picking up calls from certain people. Damn scary wey.

Alright i wanted to stop mentioning bout banci things. It makes me sickening. Ish!

Things that I desperately wanted right now is :

a) Get myself a holiday/break without having those calls from those peoples

b) Get myself a brand new mascara
c) Get myself a MAC lipstick or lipgloss
d) Get myself a pair of nice flat shoes....

e) Get my hair dye with lighter or darker colour

f) Lastly I wanted to have some changes! Im bored looking at myself..

hahahaha.. I wana pamper myself..... I will try and try and promise to myself that I would update my blog frequently.. I just hate thinking what to write on the title.. alright.. I need to get my arse up from sitting infront of my lappie d.

My day???

2010-06-15T05:32:00.002-07:00

Fuu.. Have been so busy lately.. I'm actually very tired right now but I've not been consistent to my blow-gie already. So, I get all photos transfered from mobile phone and also my owhdie camera. =) As I've promised, I'll try to capture pictures whenever I can by bringing my Camera everywhere.. Yes, I did! B..u...t... the network connection was too slow and I've waited for half an hour for one pictures to upload. Gosh! I couldn't wait anymore! Eventually, I've cancelled it. Muahahaa....downzzz.. waste my time downloading my mobile software in order to get my mobile pics to get transfered. Cish!!!

Yesterday, was the first day I went to Pembanci's training. It was not so good in the morning BECAUSE i woke up late! I was nearly late to work! I woke up at 7.45am and I thought the training gotta starts in 15 mins. So I grabbed my bags, took whatever clothes that got in my hands, then I wore it. So terrible vegie-table... ish ish! Luckily! I called Vivien and she told me the training will starts at 9am.. and so, I got much relieved... Fuu~ But still I was in the 'Shocking' conditions. Hmm.. Face was so stim and so so pale! Sigh! What a first day I got for yesterday.

Well, Today is so much Better than Yesterday!!! I woke up at 6am and I get to find my clothes,

mix and match.. Heee~ Happy.. So so tired. Now, I'm trying to be consistent in updating my blog.

Im trying !

yes! im trying. Sigh! Pictures cant upload. Downz. Next week, Ive to hand in my assignment already

but still I

Havent read the case study and im here blogging!

I wana ciao d. Will write more and will upload pictures. =)

Lazy'ness

2010-06-07T01:56:00.000-07:00

I've been so lazy to blog, do revision and assignmentssSsS.. Wake up Fion! You couldnt remain like this anymore! Sigh! How I wish I could have the remote to fasten my time to July. At least I wont have to see, think OR face what I have to face now. All the blah blah blah.. just forget bout it.

I got one good news here. Ive passed my Interview as the Pembanci's supervisor! Yeah hoo!!! Awh... My nightmare is going to begin soon. Real damn soon.. I'll have to handle 7 Pembanci'ssss under me & each of pembanci have to complete 300 houses. So 7 x 300 = 2100 houses need to be completed in the duration time given. Hopefully, those people can be kind enough to open their door for us. Pls pls pls...Im praying hard now as not to get a lot of trouble for that job. fuu~

Im now charging my OLD camera and I'll b bringing my camera whenever I go to snap some photos AS it's been ages since I took photos.. When I get to take photo, I'll upload here. Yes, here. In my blogspot. =) my blogspot has been so dull.. zzzzzzzzz...

As for now, Im just so desperate for food and SLeep!! I like sleep mode. I wonder if its call stress.. Hmm.. NO idea. Nevermind.

Let's move on..I'm craving for a Genting Highland Trip! yea! But But! I do not want to play outdoor games. Its juz too extreme for me, this old hearted Lady. I likey indoor game. =D

Faster July...July... *slap* wake up. hmm... Ok. Ima stop here. Ive chill enough already. I guess it's time back to my assignment d.. Hate that so much!

A come back in 2010

2010-04-02T05:44:00.000-07:00

This is me. My hair is short like a mushroom head d.. =(

halo~ Whoa! its already been 1 year ++ since I wrote this blog! Gosh! I'd forgotten the link of this blog. So I just leave it. Somehow, I found it today!!! Yea, Today! Today is the day my story or storiessss to continue what I'd missed it.

This year is a tough year for me. Really a tough one. LIke one has spoken " Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges ". I totally agreed with it, Dont you? Its worth it after all when I really did my best and do my part. No regret. Fuu~

Oh ya!! I got a daughter named " Stephy"! Its a girl ( doggie ) 1 yr ++ . Happy to have her by my side. I love her loads..

I guess that's all right now. I shall get some idea what to write for the next coming blog aight. Take care everyone. Love you all. - Peace -

True Story Part Three

2008-11-01T06:28:00.000-07:00

Hello there! How's Your day?? Hmm.. Sorry for the late blog posting. Truely apologise bout that. I never knew that I had to work today. Aight, without wasting your time and my time, Let me continue my true story part three.
On the same night of the True story Part three, after we went to the toilet and shared our " experienced ", we then sat down and continued our work. My colleagues are getting tired and sleepy. I was sittting at the non air-cond area which was considered as the outside of the office where there were five people include me as well. We were doing our job while having some chat. I was getting sleepier that moment, suddenly! A black shadow flew like a flash! Gosh! He or she, I don't know as I cant see that clear. Well, perhaps it was just my illusion as what I thought that time.So, what I did was, IGNORED. After half an hour, my friend H came out and talked with me. She was standing and I was sitting while we had our chat. The black Shadow flew faster than what I've thought of. I never seen such thing that could flew so fast! " It " 's position getting nearer when it flew. The shadow was huge and much clearer than before. I straight away, stood up and told my boss. hahaha..guess what. Goosebump! that's what he felt and his tear almost roll down..lolx..
Later on, My bf sat on the same chair as mine and before I could tell him what I saw and where I saw that black shadow, he was lil bit shocked. He saw that black shadow! He could see much more clearer than I do!! He told me what he saw and only that time I could tell him my story.. He told me how was that " Black Shadow" looks like. It was BALD! This mean, it is a He! His face was round and he was at outside our office, flying to the left and right.
Well, the next morning, My boss tried to check out with some cleaners and guards. Then he get some info from them. Due to the info that he get, guards are often the One that will see that "thing" the most. It is said that, that blackie every night will flew like a flash and it will then flew into Our Office! This has proven that, the blackie was trying to enter our office but it couldn't enter as what our chinese said, If there are many people in the particular area, spirit can't get into our human space that easily as yang is more than ying...So, spirit has got three soul but human got 7.. Therefore, they are afraid of us than we afraid of them. Make sure you all don't have those spirit illusion or imagination in your mind as what I've heard from some sifu, It will become REal and haunt you.. Pray more and you'll get bless...
Hmm.. How was the story? Hmmm...I don't know if I should continue to write ghost story...If you all want more ghost story, just leave an answer on my comment.. I will write everything based on my experience..Not fake.. It will be true..
It's late ady..I guess i gotta get my lovely sleep now...*Yawn~* Tomorrow gotta work again..7 days working this week..Fuu...Tired~ Aight! Take care everyone...Good night! Muakx!!! sweet dreams ( to those who read the blog at night) Good morning! have a nice day! ( to those who read the blog during morning and afternoon)

True Story Part Two

2008-10-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

Hie!! How was the part one true story?? Hmm..dont believe? not interesting? hmm..apologies bout tat..
Well, tonight I'm gonna continue my part two true story. It happened at the same place.. Hah? Sienz ? Wait. Let me finish my story only you decide whether it's bored or not.
Our work have to finish before the due date and that's the reason we have to stay overnight at the workplace. Aikz! It was so tiring.. and my energy gettin lower and lower.. Sitting in the office "fishing" while carving white foam.. I need to pee! Again?!! Yea.. I went to the toilet with my collegues and I was the first to open the door. Suddenly! I saw Her fAce!!!! Once I opened the toilet door, she just stood right infront of the Door!!! Gosh! She was all In black. She's what I called " Women in Black". As I said from the previous story, Her hair is Super Long! " Fion!! " a call from my friend, and i woke up from the illusion. It isn't real..Just my thought where it came accross my mind out of a sudden..
Hmm...ok! Serious! Hey hey! Dont stop reading. Allow me to finish up my story..This time is real and not any illusion..
For the same reason, I need to Pee!! Gosh! But, this time not both of us went to toilet. All of my colleagues went to the toilet together. Guys definitely went to the male toilet and for us, girl went to the girl toilet. There were 5 girls went to toilet together.. I was the last one who entered the toilet..My colleagu who name as H, which was the girl who went to the toilet with me together in the previous story. She was the first to open the door. Each of us went to the toilet normallly. When i was Peeing..yea. pee~ i felt very uncomfortable during that moment as if i can feel She was there.. Maybe I was just thinking too much.. Then, as usual, I was the last to close door. I saw her standing in the toilet...I saw her half of her body only..I did not say anything and we went back to the office.
My boss, saw my colleague, H looked pale. He then asked her what happen to her. She said once she opened the toilet door, a black shadow stood infront of the door. She just saw her body and she described to us that she was a woman..She did not say anything to us during that time, but she acted weirdly once she opened the door which she face the other side and giving a signal to ask my colleagues to go into the toilet. I was late for 1 mins reached toilet. So I did not see her acting weirdly.. Hmm..It means that something accross my mind just now was true! It just I was not the first who opened the door! The "woman" stood position was at the same place where I Thought of earlier! Was it what we called as six sense?? hmm..doubting..If I was to open the door, I guess, im gona faint down as I can see her face.. H was so so scared..I understand how she felt..Too bad for her to have opened the door first.. She had replaced my Bad luck..*sigh*
Human and ghost are living in the different world.. We scared because we do not know how they really looks like and sometimes we were influenced by those horror movie and gave "them" as scary spirits.. They can stay at our planet as before they died, there were once be human like us now..We can only go to their world when we die. Sometimes, human can be more scary than "they" are. Human betray people for their living, killing, and etc. I sometimes wonder, how is "their" history before before the end their life..Somehow, my beloved dad had left us too. He is now like "them"..Intangible..
I just wish to tell "him" that " daddy, I really MIss you alot"........
Alright..There are still part 3 true story... I guess, I'll not be able to update my part 3 true story this few days but this saturday (1.11.08) will post my part 3 true story aight. Thanx to those who read my blog..Thank you! Hugz... ^^

True Story

2008-10-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

Elo! I'm back again after I've been missing for awhile...hmm..i am sick now when im writting this blog..

Well, I wanted to share a true story to you all.. Ready to read what Im going to write?? Ok. let's get started..

Last week, I was working overnight at some where..( sorry i cant mention my workplace and for those who know then shh..) it was at about 11smtg almost 12am, suddenly I need to Pee!! Gosh! I need someone to accompany me certainly! A colleague of mine which is definitely a girl, went to toilet with me..I was so glad that time as my friend accompanied me. Thanx to her alot. Then we went to toilet together. We did not chit chat while we're going to the toilet..Silently, each door opened by her and the last door that was opened by her was the toilet that she is going to pee Lar! hahahha..okok..Let's continue...Gosh! The second door that she opened, a shadow of bleach color flew very fast to the guy's toilet..I was shocked at that moment! While walking to the girl's toilet, i kept looking back to ensure of what i saw is true. Unfortunately i saw nothing after that..

After she opened the door of the toilet, then of course, she began to Pee..Suddenly!!! Wind blew over her head! That was just an illusion or real? It was late at that time and the toilet is surrounded by four walls completely as You won't be able to peep on others toilet like what u saw in Tv.. We can't even peep at others legs or what.. Then there are no fan at all in the toilet or windows. Then how come there was wind blew over her head! What the hell! Next, human natural reaction is..., look up at the ceillling to check out.. Guess what she saw?? She saw a black shadow flew over her head and it was like a flash! Aikz. She thought it was just her problem of thinking too much. Then she just ignored. We washed our hands and we went out from the toilet. I was the last one and I am the one who have to close the door. When i was closing the door, a very tall black shadow was standing near the sink! It was a HER! Her hair was ver long and without legs..I cant see her face..So, without saying anything, we quietly went back to the office. The first question that I asked her was, " Did you see something?"..She replied " yes." We shared our story to our colleagues.

There was a story that said by some of the ex- colleagues and guards. The toilet is always occupied by a woman as that was what I saw.. They often saw it during Night! So dont go to toilet ALONE...Believe it? Illusion or it's not..Up to you..I can see those thingy often but not 24 hrs...That's what we called, ' Ying yang eyes'...

True ghost story will be coming up..To read more, Catch up my blog. Thank you for reading.

The word called " Tired"

2008-09-09T07:46:00.000-07:00

Today i felt quite moody and i don't know why.. I can't think of anything right now.. My mind is blank! Totally Blank!! Hmm....I am really very sleepy right now.. I wish to get back to sleep but I know I can't..Argh!! What aM I talking about??!!!

Alright! Shall I begin my topic??? Tired is a word that some of us may heard before. Perhaps in a relationship or anything as it is a REASON! that made us fed up!!! You may heard " I'm tired in our relationship." "I'm tired being with you" "I'm tired and I can't do anything" " IM getting very tired...Just let me go." && so on and so on.......

Fed up when we heard of this right? haha... but then I used to say out that word before..lolx.. I feel that, that is the word I spoken out when I'm really tired in a relationship and fed up with everything..That's the time I wish to end my relationship when everything is the time to let go everything..The limit has gone over the boundaries Sacrifice is not always done by one party..The other party has to give in as well and not always take... Relationship is what we called Give and Take.. I could say, to love someone is not by having that person but to see them happy and give your bless to them is how you really love him/her. I know that sounds bullshit for someone But how if you got love and faith does not with you? It's really hard to be with someone that you love but you know both of you is impossible to be together. One word will does its job. "Cherish".

I'm not going to write a lot for today.. Hope you all will have a nice evening...

A Rainy Day

2008-09-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

Haiz~ ( sigh). Today is the rainy day and I dislike rainy day. It can be said as I hate it! Why?? Because it can makes my day DULL! and moody or in another words of Lazy.. lolx. I prefer sunshine as I believe sunshine always shine through my days and it makes me more merrier with the "HOTNESS".. hahaha.. Don't think narrow! There is a song that I like to sing whenever it rains..

" Rain rain Go Away,

Come Again On Another Day,

Rain rain Go Away,

Little fion want sunshine "
Yeah! That's my song. haha.. I know it seems childish but at least there is a hope when I sing in order to touch the God to stop the rain.. Muahaha. *think too much* .. Alright. Let me end the topic of rain rain rai ra r......bla bla.. Let me begin the new topic aight. This evening, i sat on my bed, looking outta the window... I saw the other block which is just opposite my flat. I saw people were busy doing their own stuff such as washing plates, hanging clothes, watching tv and etc.. Everyone got their own life and it lets me thinks of, sometimes, human does not realize of the feeling of what they had lost and whom they lost. I know, life goes on.. Maybe they'll just reminiscing of someone they once lost or things that they had lost when only there are some incident happens.

I'm sure NOWADAYS, people will no longer care bout their neighbours and there is not even a "hi" from them. From what I've observed, they'll just stared at you from your head to your toe... no smile on their face.. * just imagine * whoa! horrified.. just like zombie! lolx..*ahem* back to the topic.

Well, compared to last time, that is much much more different.
I know people are getting more selfish each passing day. Thus, that is one of the reason, why people doesn't want to lend a hand when their friends or whoever that needed a help. When a person needed a help and there are no one that are willingly to help, it makes us pissed off. At that time, we'll realize of what is friends about and who is the true buddies, friends, or sister. Besides that, people are getting realistic as well... What makes them realistic?? It's the DEVIL & also ANGEL which is MONEY!!! $$$$$ " SHOW ME THE MONEY!! BA BA BA ~" *singing* Money is the devil that makes us suffer! Make us change! Make us Realistic! Make us go wrong path! and Many more..... Haiz *sigh* ...
That is what people live their life now... Poor lil life... There is always a second option which is to sacrifice when we want something. "Poor is not a reason. Being poor must also have dignity. It is a high level to become poor".. I heard this sentence from Stephen Chow, a movie of CJ7. It's meaningful and I can still remember until now.
Well, to all my dear friends, Life is supposed to be hard..It wouldn't be worth it if it weren't. Live our life to the fullest..
I have to stop my both hands from typing..It's late..I shall get to sleep now..
Good night everyone.. Sweetest dreamz for all of you.. (^,^)

Love

2008-09-07T22:07:00.000-07:00

Hie everyone! This is my first time writting blog...Hope my blog wont bored u guyz...I do really hope you all will enjoy the blog and if don't please give me some comment so that I could improve my mistakes.

"The power to love in life" is the tittle that I've choosen from the several names that i written in my book.. I choosed this tittle with the feeling of emotional. I sat down and I've think a lot. I realize that, there are some people out there that dare not to love or don't know what is love. What is love? and what is the power to love in life? To me, Love is a really special and wonderful thing that could give us the undescribeable feeling..somehow, it is sweet or sad... To know how to love is considered as the courage to love and thus, by having the courage to love, regret will never appear in our dictionary.. Love all the people around us..Appreciate them.. Love them while we can is what our life is meant to be..Somehow, some of them just turn love into hate. Well, that is the most tiring process and it could make our life miserable.. The power to love in life is what god gives to us.. To let us feel the power we got when we are loved by people or we love people..

So, feel the love around us.. Use the chance to love as the way to show our affection to the people around us and to whom we love the most.. As what I know, love won't get old like beauty but love is a kind of beauty that will never end until the day we stop our breathe.. <3